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Archive for the ‘Food for Thought’ Category

Engaging in “Missionary” work

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , on February 25, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Over the course of my career — 24 years — as a professional communicator — I was frequently responsible for community relations. What that amounted to was interacting with various members, and organizations, within the communities where my employer did business. This could be participation in Chamber of Commerce activities, fundraisers put on by local/regional non-profits, Rotary, and other similar activities.

One thing that always stood out to me was this: People attending these so-called networking style events often stay in their little clusters of friends and colleagues…the same people they see all day at work!

I understand it from an emotional level. A lot of people don’t like having to strike up a conversation with someone they don’t know, or barely know. It leaves one feeling somewhat vulnerable and exposed. It requires us to step out of our Comfort Zones and take a risk. I speak from experience here; I would prefer to be on stage speaking to a full ballroom rather than have to walk into it during networking time only to be faced with countless tight clusters of people already engaged in conversation and have to try to break into one of the conversations uninvited.

But this defeats the whole purpose! If I make the effort to attend an event in my community, I am there to mix and mingle and get to know people outside my company. It’s an opportunity for a group of employees from one company to spread throughout the other attendees and function as Chief Marketing Officers for your organization; telling stories about what you stand for, what you offer, how you serve your clients, how you grow and empower your employees. It’s a chance for them to make important connections with people who may become a critical resource, a new employee, a new client at some point in the future.

And, yet, we allow fear and discomfort to hold us hostage and stay — safe — in our little clusters of office mates!

I was blessed to have a co-worker (still a valued friend and mentor) who pointed out the importance of doing “missionary” work. When attending any external function with any colleague (one or many), he encouraged the others to go off on their own and meet new people…and would simply walk away from you and model the behavior if you didn’t get started on your own. It was simple and brilliant! A practice I carried forward in my various roles with employers after that point. I admit, however, it didn’t make me popular among my co-workers; they appeared to resent my insistence they step out of their comfort zone and interact with strangers…but it’s important for the business.

How do you think about “missionary” work and what can you do differently the next time you’re in a networking kind of situation?

How might it serve you in your future endeavors?

How might it impact your business?

Come back and tell me your stories — I want to hear them!

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What Matters Most and One Size Does NOT Fit All — Gracebreak Blog Talk Radio

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , on February 19, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Folks, I was honored to be invited to share the radio waves with my friend, colleague, and business partner, Tracy Worley, on her Gracebreak Blog Talk Radio on Monday.

We shared a half hour (a very fast half hour, from my perspective) talking about finding meaning in your life, discovering your purpose, knowing what motivates you, and how to recognize and reward your team. I’m confident there’s some nugget of wisdom in here that will help you, if you will take the time to listen. And I say this because I have been blessed to have been mentored, coached, and taught by some amazing minds — John Maxwell, Paul Martinelli, Christian Simpson, Mac Bledsoe, and others — throughout my life, and I do my best to be a river (picking up and sharing wisdom along my journey) rather than a reservoir (holding in all I’ve gathered for only my own use).

Here’s the link. Be sure to share it with anyone you think might get some value out of it. And be sure to come back and tell me what you think! And in the meantime, have an intentional day.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.

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Are you a drama queen?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , on February 17, 2014| Leave a Comment »

I’ve been involved in a couple of different situations of late that have brought the principles outlined in the Drama lesson of the Empowerment Mentoring program front and center for me. Follow along, and spend a few minutes reflecting on these thoughts to see if you may be creating some unnecessary drama in your life.

The key principle that is most active around me, recently, is this: Assuming malicious intent from others OR acting with malicious intent. Specifically, assigning motives to others, in the belief that one knows what someone else is trying to accomplish in a given situation, without the benefit of having a conversation with the person to discover what is actually going on.

Have you participated in a relationship in which you made certain assumptions about another person’s motives, that later turned out to be a misunderstanding or misinterpretation? First, it’s human nature to make up stories about what’s going on around us, because we like to have closure and we have a strong need for things to make sense. So, we pull in bits and pieces of information, snatches of conversation, and we make up stories that make sense to us, based on our values, beliefs, and life experiences. This doesn’t mean that the stories we come up with are based in reality, only that they make sense to us. The problem here is the stories we concoct are often far from the truth…simply because we are missing key facts.

The other consideration is that Intent does NOT equal Impact! It’s important to consider that there are times when we speak or act  that what we intend to happen is not the outcome we get. What that means is, we are sometimes the author of some of the drama in our lives, because we are not fully self-aware or as intentional as we might be. And we also tend to make assumptions about the intent and behaviors of others in our lives.

If you’re experiencing drama in your life, I encourage you to spend some time in reflection and come to an understanding of the role you are playing in the situation.

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Are you among the 73% – 92%?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , on February 4, 2014| Leave a Comment »

In many measures, being among this large a group might be a good thing, but in the case of today’s topic — Thinking — being in this particular statistic is not a good thing.

73% to 92% of people go through their day on Auto-Pilot

It should be astonishing, but if you are observant, you’ll not be surprised one bit. I say this because I believe you are not in that group. Just the fact you are here, reading this blog, is proof that you do think…you do, at least in part, go through your day with some intentionality.

I’m working through a process called the 4 Pillars of Mastery, developed by one of my Coach/Mentors, Christian Simpson. If you are interested in moving beyond your current level of achievement in life, and really propelling yourself forward, you’ll want to sign up for this (amazingly!) free program. Don’t be fooled when you do, however; it may be free in terms of a financial investment, but it’s far from free in terms of an intellectual, emotional, and introspective investment. Like anything else, you will get out of it what you put into it.

What I’m putting into it is a considerable amount of time, energy, and thought. You see, the results I’m experiencing in my life are caused solely by me; as are the results you are experiencing caused by you. So the only way I will improve my results is if I continue to improve myself at my THOUGHT level.

Today is the result of my best thinking — today. Fortunately, I have reserved the right to be smarter tomorrow, and I’m taking advantage of that reservation — every single day!

How much time do you dedicate to actual THINKING each day?

Do you have a special thinking place?

Do you use a journal, or other tools to help you thru your reflection, introspection, thought processing?

I highly encourage you to think on this today…and determine what you can do differently tomorrow to improve your results. I guarantee you, if you do this, you will win.

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I hit a new low last Friday…

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , on January 27, 2014| Leave a Comment »

I hit a new low last Friday, and it was a delightful experience. It was on my scale!

The number that appeared on my scale early Friday morning isn’t important to anyone except me, and truly even the number isn’t the most important thing about this experience. What is, is the person I’m becoming.

My son turned 7 years old at the end of November. In December, I was finally at a weight a few pounds lower than I was when I got pregnant. For most of that time in between, I wished I would lose the weight — and I had lost most of it, hovering near my pre-pregnancy weight for much of that time — and feel better and get back in shape, but I didn’t really do anything to make it happen.

About 18 months ago, I started making some changes in eating and drinking habits. Last July, I started doing DDP Yoga at least four times a week. It’s not the kind of yoga that encourages quiet meditation; it makes me sweat, twitch, and tremble, and I love it! I’m still making changes in my approach to health. I try to get a brisk walk in on non-yoga days. I eat smaller portions and healthier snacks. The lure of the fast food drive-in no longer has power over me. I quite drinking coffee every morning because when I really thought about it, it didn’t taste like anything. I have even (wait — are you sitting down? This is BIG!!) stopped eating chocolate chips by the handful every day! I do treat myself to a piece of chocolate now and again, and when I do, I savor every bite.

The most amazing part of this is my thinking has changed, which is the most critical part of all of this. For example, when I think I’d like a treat and remember how yummy chocolate chips are, it’s almost as if some protective shield drops through part of my mind and pushes me to the fruit bowl on the counter instead. And I don’t feel deprived when it happens; I feel powerful and focused.

In fact, in my mind I’m cheering myself on to continue making healthier choices and demonstrating healthier behaviors. I’m becoming more intentional and demonstrating that I have the discipline to follow through. This is the important part because it means I am becoming the person who can bring my dream into reality, and let me assure you — it’s a BIG dream! In fact, I’m working through a process with one of my Coach/Mentors who has given me a homework assignment: Rewrite my dream, 10 times bigger than it already is. WOW!

The bottom line is, it’s about creating a vision for what we want in our lives, then developing a plan and following through — with a  PROCESS — that will allow us to bring that vision into reality. What’s most important is following through with the process. Getting back to the process when we’ve allowed ourselves to get derailed by some other issue, distraction, or challenge.

What do you dream of being, doing, or having in your life?

What process are you following?

Who is in your inner circle — those people who will support, encourage, and push you to be the person you are striving to become?

What will you do when you hit a bump and get off track?

Who are YOU becoming along the way?

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Change is all about process…One woman’s story

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , on January 15, 2014| Leave a Comment »

Changing anything, if you want the change to be sustainable, requires a process. While it would be delightful (and nothing short of miraculous!) to be able to not eat any sweets for one full day — for example — and lose all the weight you want to drop and look amazing in your clothes the next day, we know it isn’t possible.

Making the change begins with an idea, a desire…to do, be, or have something different than your current conditions and circumstances allow. Once the idea has grown and developed and taken root in our minds, we must then make the DECISION to act. Action requires forethought, intentionality and commitment to continuing to act, DAILY!

Here’s an example. It’s the story of an Australian woman who recognized the need to make some significant changes in several areas of her life, and she started with one small, simple act: Gratitude posts on her Facebook page. Some days they were pretty mundane, some days more significant. The point is, she looked for reasons to be grateful, and found them! When she found them, she considered them and shared them. These are small, daily steps in the right direction.

I would imagine that on some days it was pretty challenging, other days might have been easier — with the challenge being more about which one thing to focus on out of many reasons to be grateful. As her year progressed, she made other changes in her behaviors, sometimes enlisting support from her friends (think — inner circle — those people who should support, encourage, and complement you).

It’s a process. Process begins with a single step, followed by more single steps, and before you know it, you’re on track and moving forward.

What is it you want to change about yourself or your conditions and circumstances this year?

What is the one simple step you can start with?

What will you allow to get you off track once you’ve started?

Whose support can you enlist to help you along the way?

Start today! You’ll be better for it.

Then come back and tell me what you did and how it felt. Looking forward to hearing your stories!

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Change your thinking, change your life

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , on January 13, 2014| Leave a Comment »

I recently awoke from an odd dream, that got me thinking about how we think and its impact on our lives.

In the dream, I was walking through a train station, filled with people, as you would imagine. There was a young woman (in her 20’s I would guess) asking people for money. She asked a woman who was walking near me for money. The second woman said she didn’t have any cash. The first woman said “That’s ok, your bank is right here. Let’s go in and you can get some.”

Looking a bit bewildered, the second woman was ushered into the bank and I followed (curious to see what would happen next). The woman approached the teller and said she needed some cash from one of her accounts. The first woman, overhearing this — ‘one of her accounts’ — demanded the teller write down the balances in all of the woman’s accounts…presumably so she could determine how much money she could extract from her confused “benefactor.” The teller wrote the amounts out on a chalkboard (yes, things are sometimes strange in dreams!) and the account holder stood there silently, while the first woman decided how much money she should be given. She came up with some number, and the teller began to do what he needed to do, while the second woman looked on.

This was when I felt the need to step in and object. It was a ridiculous scenario to be sure…and it was certainly none of my business what some other person chose to do with their own money.

My objection sprang from the fact that simply giving this young woman money would not solve her problems. When you have a dysfunctional relationship with money, having more of it will not solve anything; you will simply blow through it as you usually do. It’s only when you are able to change your thinking about what money really is — a tool — and how you use it that you are able to make changes in your circumstances.

I felt compelled to explain this to the first young woman, although it would probably have fallen on deaf ears. Here is just one story of a person who came into a cash windfall, and it didn’t miraculously “fix” her life…in fact, it led to a lot of other issues and challenges, and wouldn’t you know, she is no longer a millionaire!

Here’s the bottom line. If you have the yearning to become a millionaire, great! But simply acquiring the money will not make you different. If you focus on the journey and invest in the process, the more important outcome is who you become on the way to earning the money.

It’s the same principle with anything else you desire to achieve, have, do, or be…the wisest people understand it’s not about actually accomplishing the goal, it’s about who you become on your way there. If you truly want to change your life…you must change your thinking. More specifically, you must actually ENGAGE in THINKING, not simply resorting to habitual ways of thinking or allowing others to think for you.

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Connect like a Rock Star!

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , on December 15, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I was thrilled and blessed to see Chris Isaak in concert last night at The Kent Stage, in Kent, Ohio, and have to say it was truly a highlight of my year. Not only does Chris, and his band Silvertone, put on one heck of an entertaining show, but they also demonstrate what it truly means to connect with others.

These guys travel a lot, and yet, they make a point of truly connecting with their audience whether they are in the BIG city (i.e. New York, Paris, San Francisco) or in a small town in the mid-west (i.e. Kent, Ohio!). Here are a few lessons in connecting that I was reminded of last night:

Connectors show appreciation for others. At the end of the opening song, Chris said, “Thank you for coming out tonight and supporting live music.” This resonated with me for a couple of reasons: 1) It was a snowy day, and the roads to Kent were not in fabulous condition. Having driven 3 hours to get there, we passed no fewer than 6 vehicles off the road (some in the ditch, some in the median, one Durango that looked as if it had rolled across several lanes, spilling its owner’s things thru the median and across the highway). Kent is a bit out of the way; it’s not far from Akron or Cleveland, but a bit off the beaten path. 2) We have so much access to music of all kinds at all hours of the day, fairly inexpensively. Attending a live concert these days is a bit of an investment — tickets, travel, maybe dinner out and a hotel for longer-distance travelers.

In addition, while the tour is titled “Chris Isaak,” it’s not all about Chris. He showcases each member of the band separately during different parts of the show, allowing each to shine with his instruments of choice. He also highlights, and pays tribute to those performers who inspired and mentored him…from Johnny Cash and Roy Orbison to Carl Perkins and Elvis.

Connectors create entertaining experiences for others. Chris and Silvertone put on a SHOW! For them, it’s not all about flash and special effects, unless you count the sequins or mirrored panels on the suits Chris wears when he’s entertaining! The Kent Stage has about 620 seats, old movie theater style, so there wasn’t a bad seat in the house, and the band took full advantage of being able to interact with the audience. Chris and his guitarist, Hershel, were both out performing in the audience during a couple of different songs. They tell stories, they make fun of themselves, they do some fun moves together (imagine the stage shows of bands in the 50’s and 60’s), they even had one of those ridiculous dancing Santa’s on-stage — you know the ones, they move when they are activated by sounds around them. They encouraged us to get up and dance and they performed for a full two hours.

Connectors respond to the needs of others. As  I mentioned, they were out among the audience performing. They invited a few audience members on stage to dance with the bass player. They did a couple of songs based on requests yelled out by members of the audience. If you’ve been to a concert, you know they have a “stage set” or planned play-list that they work their way through. Yes, they had a stage set, and I’m sure they stuck to most of it, but they also improvised in response to the audience.

Finally, there is something so powerful about watching people perform in their passion zone. These guys have been playing together for 25-30 years, and it shows. They were having a lot of fun, and so were we. It was one of those experiences during which I was truly “in the moment” the whole time. If these guys are coming to a venue near you, I highly recommend seeing them, you won’t regret it!

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Leadership in Latte’s?

Posted in Food for Thought, Leadership, tagged , , , , on November 4, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I used to be a daily coffee drinker. It always smelled delicious, but one day I actually started paying attention to how it tasted…and my conclusion was that it didn’t really taste like anything! I don’t think it was a quality issue; I started with whole coffee beans, freshly ground, fresh water…mixed with a little ½ and ½ in the cup.

Yes, drinking it had become a habit; something I did on auto-pilot without thinking about it. So, I asked myself why I was drinking coffee every day. The answer: That it had become a habit, was not good enough. A few days later, when I’d used up all the coffee beans I had, I cleaned out the coffee maker and stored it away in the cupboard.

Having consumed coffee nearly daily since high school, it was surprisingly easy to quit my daily habit! But I confess, I haven’t given it up completely.

I treat myself to a caramel latte once every couple of weeks. Last week, my latte treat got me thinking about leadership. Here’s what happened.

I went to my favorite coffee shop in between meetings. As I approached the counter, I noticed the young man stepping up to serve me had a hand-written name badge; translation – new employee, still in training. I placed my order, he repeated it back to me. We concluded the transaction, and he stepped over to the machine to make my drink.

I waited, anticipating how delicious it was going to be. You know how that works, when you’ve been craving something for a while, and you imagine the flavors floating through your mouth and you can’t wait for it to actually happen?

He handed it to me across the counter, I left the shop, got back in my car and started on to my next meeting; because the coffee was hot, I waited about 10 minutes before taking a sip. It was a big disappointment! No caramel flavor! I was too far down the road to go back. But, I did spend the rest of my drive thinking about how this experience relates to leadership and three lessons come to mind: Situational Leadership, Intent does NOT Equal Impact, and Trust but verify!.

Are you familiar with the Situational Leadership model, developed by Hersey and Blanchard? There are four stages of development for any task, with a leadership style to accompany each stage. Simply put:

In Development Level 1 (D1), a person is often motivated to learn to do the task, so the leader needs to give explicit directions (step-by-step) but not a lot of encouragement or support.

In D2, the person has tried to do the task a time or two, realizes it’s going to be harder than it looks, and is quickly de-motivated and often frustrated. At this stage, the leader still needs to give explicit, step-by-step instructions and a lot of support and encouragement.

After a little practice, the person moves into D3, when he/she generally has the process down, but needs more encouragement and support at the progress made going through it.

Eventually, the person reaches D4, and has become a master at the task; at this stage, the leader doesn’t need to give direction, nor a lot of support or encouragement. Again, this is very simplified and is task-based.

While I thought the trainers at my favorite coffee shop would have gone through this process with new employees –testing the results along the way to ensure expected taste, quality, and presentation of the various items they serve – I now know they didn’t (at least with respect to the caramel latte!).

I’m certain it was not his intent to serve me a disappointing latte (intent does not equal impact), so I have a choice to make – consider myself a victim (didn’t get the treat I was anticipating) or a victor (recognize my role in the experience and adapt my behavior). Knowing the young man was new at his job, I should have tasted my coffee before I left, knowing that if I waited until I was a way down the road, it would be too late to correct the situation (add caramel to my coffee).

My lesson, trust but verify!

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Reflecting on life-changing decisions…Here’s one of mine

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 26, 2013| Leave a Comment »

As part of the growth plan I am working my way through, I have recently spent some time reflecting on my association with the John Maxwell Team and the value it’s brought to my life.
Several people have told me they wished they could do some of what I’m doing and asked me about my experience with the John Maxwell Team. After returning from Guatemala my (already great) opinion about the JMT is at a new level. What we took part of in Guatemala was “Historic.” John’s Influence and his team at Equip ( his other company) along with two other organizations ( LaRed and Guatemala Prospera) are the reason this amazing Transformation has begun in Guatemala.
Think about this: Three people trained 150 of us coaches over two-and-a-half days. We were then deployed, along with a translator, to go out and teach four-hour work shops sitting in small circles with military, city and country government officials, faculties of schools, clergy, hospital administrators, doctors and nurses, business men and women, and community leaders; we taught them how to facilitate interactive roundtable discussions on the the topics of Laws of Growth and Values, like forgiveness, listening skills, and others.
Gua Natl Civil Police June13 sm  (Me with the National Civil Police, Guatemala City, Guatemala, June 2013, at the end of our session)
In three days we reached ~19,000 people and left them trained and equipped to facilitate a 30-week follow-up using this same process in their areas of influence and with their families.
It was an amazing, life-changing experience! I don’t know if you can imagine but each one of the participants (captains & generals of armies in uniform, city mayors, doctors, clergy, etc) had to get “real” and be “transparent” rating themselves from 1-10 on how they were at, for instance, “listening” or “forgiving others. ” Then they had to say aloud what specific action steps they were going to take in the coming week to improve their performance in that area.
I’ve never seen such transparency. The stories of what happened were crazy-awesome! When people get real and want to grow, TRANSFORMATION begins.
As of mid-August, 45,000 (yes, 45,000!) others were going through this transformation process in small groups led by the people we taught in June.
I’m still on ‘cloud nine’ about the whole thing. Our own country could so benefit from this process. Third world countries don’t have the distractions we have and they want help to bring hope to their future generations. From the president down to the young people, the whole country is in pursuit of hope. Although this was not a faith-based effort per se, all the principles, laws, and values we taught come directly from the wisdom found in the pages of the Bible.
If you are looking for a personal leadership growth track (speaking, coaching, teaching, etc…), want to move toward growing a business, or be a part of a transformational, powerful organization, you can make that a reality for yourself by joining the John Maxwell Team. Give me a call. I can walk you through the process for enrolling, the investment, and the amazing benefits of joining this team.
It truly is the best thing I’ve done for myself in at least 10 years!
I look forward to hearing from you.

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