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Archive for the ‘Food for Thought’ Category

Coach or Mentor?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged on October 15, 2012| 4 Comments »

I’ve been in corporate America for more than 22 years, now, and for a lot of that time I’ve heard a lot of people talk about providing coaching to other employees. I’ve also heard — and read — a lot about mentoring programs — both formal and informal.

While the discussions seem to be focused on the same preferred outcome — improvement in some level of a person’s performance, over time, I came to the conclusion that while people were using different terms — coach and mentor — they were really talking about the same activity. To wit, what they are really doing is advising, guiding, directing, sharing the benefit of their experience, and often saying things that sound like, “If I were you, I would…” In essence, they are talking about mentoring.

And there is absolutely a lot of value in mentoring people (or being mentored) when you have the opportunity. But mentoring is not coaching.

What’s the difference you might ask? There’s a world of difference, and here it is: Coaches don’t have all the answers and they don’t attempt to provide any! In fact, when I’m discussing coaching with people I tell them I don’t have any of the answers — at least not any of their answers — but I do have all the questions…questions that will help them find the answers — their answers.

You see, we function from different values, beliefs, and experiences. So, the decisions I make and actions I take will make sense for me within my paradigm. But they may be all wrong for you and because you will recognize this, you won’t likely act on my direction. If I can help you draw out the values, beliefs, fears, hopes, and whatever other factors are affecting your ability to make decisions and take actions, then I will be able to add more value.

Think about it; if I can help you come to the solution on your own, it will fit you better, and you will be significantly more likely to follow through than if I tell you what I think you should do. Based on experience, I think it will feel better, too.

I’m now on a bit of a mission to distinguish between coaching and mentoring. Again, not because one is inherently better than the other; it really depends on who you are, what situation you are facing, and how you want to approach finding a path forward. I simply want people to recognize there is a difference and to be able to recognize it when they see it.

And I admit I often function in both roles, sometimes with the same people on the same day! You see, I’ve been working in all areas of communication for more than 20 years, so I have a lot of experience in strategies and tactics one might want to use to communicate more effectively. So, I am absolutely qualified to mentor someone in this area. But you wouldn’t want me to mentor you in the area of finance, or scientific methods, or how to play a sport…or a myriad of other things.

At the same time, I’m qualified to coach people who are striving to achieve something in a number of areas in which I have no expertise whatsoever…remember, as a coach, my role is not to tell you how to do anything. My role is to truly listen to what you say, to observe how you say it, and ask you the kinds of questions that make you really think.

If you haven’t worked with a coach, I encourage you to try it. I promise, if you truly engage — and you find a true coach (not a mentor) — the experience will change your life. It’s a proven way to implement significant and lasting change.

Interested? I offer complimentary sessions.

What would you like to change?

How are you approaching it?

How will you know if the path you choose is the right one for you?

 

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The architect of your success

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , on October 10, 2012| 1 Comment »

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to Christian Simpson, the Coaching Mentor for the John Maxwell Team, and he said something so profound I wrote it down. 

He said: The architect of your success is not your intellect; it is, in fact, your belief system.

The architect of your success is not your intellect; it is, in fact, your belief system.

In essence, he is saying it doesn’t matter how smart you are; being smart will not guarantee your success. The key is what you believe about yourself and your abilities. 

I grew up in what I believe is actually a pretty normal family (defining “normal” as some level of obvious dysfunction, which I think most of us have; as I don’t believe the “Leave it to Beaver” or “Ozzie and Harriet” families were real…). Because of my circumstances, I learned, very early, to be independent and self-sufficient. This has served me well in many situations, and has been detrimental in others. However, because of – or in spite of – those circumstances, I also grew up with what turns out to be a pretty strong belief in my ability to succeed at whatever I set my mind to.

I can remember the first time I verbalized this to someone, during a job interview more than 20 years ago. I said, “Unless you ask me to do brain surgery or something akin to nuclear physics, it doesn’t occur to me that I might not be successful. I am self-aware enough to recognize what I don’t know, which means when faced with a challenge I realize I will likely need to learn some new things along the way, pick up some new skills, find some new resources, perhaps meet some new people…but I’m confident I can succeed.”

And when given the opportunity and the challenge, I have set forth to do just that, acquiring the knowledge and resources I’ve needed along the way. And when I’ve made certain decisions in my life, I didn’t have a Plan B to fall back on, just in case. Perhaps it was fool-hardy, but I was determined to reach my goal.

This is not to say I haven’t failed, for surely I have, and plenty of times…in minor ways and in major, life-changing ways. On those occasions, I have taken the time to reflect on my actions and experiences, so that I may carry the lessons forward, and hopefully not make the same mistakes twice.

I’ve just started facilitating a Mastermind Group using John Maxwell’s newest book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. The group was blessed, on October 2, with John himself teaching the first two chapters. Last night, I facilitated the Chapter 3 lesson: The Law of the Mirror.

Simply put, the law says, “You must see value in yourself to add value to yourself.” John goes on to explain that the value we place on ourselves is usually the value others will place on us; the world isn’t likely to up your price tag.

The lesson: What you believe about yourself will determine your future success. How you talk to yourself makes an enormous difference. So nurture the voice in your head that is supportive, encouraging, and confident in you. Let the other voice know you really don’t have time for it these days; it will eventually get the message and quiet down.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right

When Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right,” he hit the nail on the head.   

What do you believe about yourself? And how is that belief propelling you forward or holding you back?

 

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Small miracles, revisited

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , on October 10, 2012| Leave a Comment »

It’s been a week since I said I wanted to start a movement and challenged you to ask the simple question, “If you could have a small miracle today, what would it be?”

I wonder, have you done it?

I have asked a number of people and have received some interesting responses. Most notably, several people repeated the question, seemingly rolling it around in their mouths to really get the feel for it before responding…and when they did, they typically said they had pretty much what they needed, and didn’t feel the need to ask for anything more. 

I got the sense they really appreciated the simple gesture of my asking the question and then truly listening to their response.

I did, however, have the opportunity to act in a few cases. I did a little research on invitations for a co-worker who is planning a birthday party for her twin boys, with a “spy” theme. I provided more than a few people with Hershey’s dark chocolate kisses. One person wanted to send “peace” to someone she was once close to, whom she knows is struggling with some serious issues. Of course, I’m not powerful enough to actually put this person at peace, but I can send focused, positive thoughts in the right direction.

So, the week may be over but the opportunity is ever present. I will continue to ask the question and do my best to respond to the needs of the people around me.

What about you? What response did you get when you asked the question, and how did you respond? How did you feel? 

Please, don’t be shy…we’re all waiting to hear your stories…just click into the “comments” box below!

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I want to start a movement. Will you join me?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , on October 1, 2012| 1 Comment »

At my last corporate job, I taped Christmas cards to my office door during the holiday season. When I received a small gift in the office, I taped the gold bow that was on it to my door also. After the holidays, as I was taking down the cards, I decided to leave the bow, as a reminder of my purpose: To be a gift to the people whose lives I touch each day.

I know, it may sound corny, but it’s true. And, each morning, while I prepare for my day I talk to God and I ask him for the tools I’ll need to do his work, my job, and fulfill my purpose.

Several months after the holiday season, the bow was still on the door when a colleague stopped by to discuss something. As he was leaving, he asked about the significance of the bow, so I explained it to him. He laughed a little as he left, and looked back at my office once while he walked away. He appeared to be a bit uncomfortable with what I’d said to him. Perhaps it was unusual, certainly unexpected, not your average office conversation. I hope it made him think.

You’re probably familiar with the movie Pay it Forward, in which a young boy starts a movement of Random Acts of Kindness in response to a school assignment. Last year, through my Leadership West Virginia class, I was introduced to Anonymous Acts of Kindness (check out Secret Agent L, also).  I have taken on these Acts by paying for cars behind me when I go through toll booths; I also sometimes pay for the orders of people behind me at drive-thru windows. It feels good to do something unexpected for someone, and hopefully brighten their day.

A couple of days ago, I was flipping through a magazine and saw an article on this topic, with a little different slant. The author (her name escapes me) wrote about the many struggles — large and small — we all go through on any given day. She suggested, when one encounters someone in need, asking this simple–yet profound, perhaps even life-changing–question: If you could have a small miracle today, what would it be?

If you could have a small miracle today, what would it be?

Then, do something about it. You may not be able to fulfill the whole miracle, but you may be able to do something that makes an enormous difference. And the simple act of asking the question and actually listening to the answer is a gift in itself.

So, let’s start the movement. If (conservatively) 25 of us committed to asking the question just once this week, and following through, we could positively change the lives of at least 25 people.

Let’s carry it a step further. Each of us has the opportunity to influence at least four other people each day. If we shared our quest with each of them, and encouraged them to join us, potentially 100 other lives would be positively changed. If each of the four people we influenced, influenced at least four people in their lives, and so on and so on…you can see, the movement could grow exponentially.

Simple. Profound. Life-changing (for both giver and receiver). An amazing way to recognize the many blessings we already have in our lives. An opportunity to truly understand the difference between need and want.

Are you with me? Will you join this movement?

Let’s all meet back here in a week, and share our stories (use the comments section!). I can’t wait to hear of the amazing works we’ve done.

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Why bother trying – it’s impossible. Right?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , on September 27, 2012| 1 Comment »

I want you to come on an adventure with me (an “expotition” as Pooh would call it). Imagine you are standing near the edge of a cliff. Mere inches from the tips of your toes, the cliff wall drops down hundreds of feet to a canyon. Across the way, some distance from you, you see the other side…and perched there is your goal, your dream (you fill in the name of whatever it is you desire to achieve), just waiting for you to cross over and claim it.

As you stand there, first looking with great longing at your goal on the other side, then down into the canyon just in front of you, and consider the chasm that keeps you from just reaching out and grabbing it, you think…what?

If you are like many others, you might be thinking:

  • It’s too far.
  • I can’t reach it.
  • There’s no way to get to the other side.
  • The canyon is too deep.
  • I don’t know how to get there.
  • I’m afraid to try.
  • I’m afraid to do it alone.
  • I’m not supposed to have it.
  • No one prepared me for this.
  • Why bothering trying?
  • It’s impossible.
  • Right?

Well, is it? I must confess I don’t have the answer. As a coach, my value is in not having any of the answers. My value is in having all the questions; the kinds of questions that will help you find the answer — your answer.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and here’s what I’ve come up with:

It’s not impossible. In fact, I really think there probably isn’t anything that is truly impossible.

Let me share with you some of the things that have led me to that conclusion.

  • We put a man on the Moon.
  • We have a rover on Mars, right now — today!
  • We have people living in an International Space Station.
  • We have immunizations and treatments for illnesses that used to wipe out entire populations.
  • We have mapped the human genome; and in fact, can now map an individual’s within weeks, rather than months, and for thousands of dollars as opposed to the billions it used to cost.
  • Doctors have created what they refer to as tissue scaffold to regrow muscle lost to disease or damage, for which traditional methods of treatment have failed.
  • And, if that’s not enough, medical researchers are printing new organs using cells instead of ink. Yes, I said printing, like on an inkjet printer.

Now, I’m certain there are thousands more examples of how we have proven over time that so many things once thought impossible, were, in fact, quite possible.

So, what is your goal / dream? What is it that your heart calls you to do? What do you long for?

Going back to school? Earning another degree? Changing careers? Meeting someone special? Taking a trip to an exotic location? Developing a new talent? Really, the possibilities are endless.

I’ll admit, it can be scary stepping out of your comfort zone to try something new. You may need to learn something. You may not have all the resources you need when you begin. You may need help along the way. But if you never start, how will you know?

Just get started. If you can see the first step or two clearly, you are more than ready to move forward. Do it afraid. You’ll get what you need along the way.

 

One last question: What’s holding you back?

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Would you like to press the “undo” button on your life?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , on September 24, 2012| Leave a Comment »

In 2011, I participated in the Leadership West Virginia program. It was a tremendously valuable experience for me in more ways than I could recount quickly. One of the more memorable experiences was part of a service project my class decided to take on. We connected with the West Virginia College Summit program to act as mentors to high school students preparing for college; many times as the first person in their family to attend college.

Essentially, during one of our monthly LWV sessions, we were paired up with a College Summit student to act as a mentor, offering guidance on completing applications, writing essays, evaluating classes and areas of study. I remember so distinctly the young with whom I was paired. When asked what she planned to study, she talked of wanting to be a teacher. Her face lit up; her eyes were alive and full of energy; her voice was full of eagerness, and the desire to make a difference in the lives of children.

Then, she went on to explain that she would likely look into nursing or some other type of medical technologist position. As she made this change in fields of study, her whole demeanor changed. The light was gone from her eyes; her face no longer animated; her voice filled more with resignation than anything that could be interpreted as interest or excitement. Curious about such a drastic change, I asked her if she was aware of it…and why she would consider such a different career, and one that seemed to hold very little interest for her. Her response: Money.

We talked about this for some time. I acknowledged that, yes, making a decent living is certainly an important consideration, but suggested she might consider that she would be exchanging her precious life energy for that money, and it might serve her well to really think about what was more important — making more money at an unfulfilling job or making less money in a role where she truly made a difference in the lives of children, and by extension, her community and the world.

I have no idea what she decided; unfortunately, I’ve not heard from her since. I hope she makes the decision that fills her heart with joy, for it would be in that capacity that she would truly make an invaluable difference in the lives of many.

Her situation is not uncommon. In fact, according to a survey published in a recent Parade Magazine article, of the more than 26,000 people surveyed, about 60% said they would switch paths if they had the opportunity to do it over again.

In some ways, it’s an amazing result, and in others, not at all surprising. Nearly daily, I talk with people who are doing what it takes to get by, to make a living, working at a job, not in an area of passion. The survey shows that 34% describe their mood on Sunday night as “minor dread,” with another 9% in “despair” over the need to return to work on Monday.

It’s a sad commentary on our society, I think. So much wasted talent, energy, and passion! What’s worse, though, is discovering so many believe they are “doomed” to continue down this path — with no potential for change, even though it’s not what they wanted.

I wonder how so many people seem to have lost sight of the fact that the power is within them to make the changes. A new acquaintance so eloquently stated: This is NOT a dress rehearsal! We get one life to live. I hope you are making it meaningful.

If not, what will it take to shift you from your current paradigm about what is possible to the one that will allow you to realize your dreams and your potential?

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Defining success…and what it’s worth

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , on September 18, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I have a lot of conversations with friends, clients, colleagues, and sometimes even strangers, about what success means to them. These are educated, motivated, hard-working, individuals who would appear — from the outside and based on what society seems to define as success — to be successful. They hold good jobs in interesting fields, earn good salaries, live in nice places, are able to vacation, wear nice clothes, etc…

Frequently, however, I find that when I ask them what success means to them, they don’t have an answer. For some, it is money, nice house, nice car, latest fashion, ability to mingle with all the “right” people, attend the “right” events…for others, it’s just the opposite. They want to be successful, but struggle with the idea that it means all of the material things, with which they are uncomfortable.

This topic got me thinking about a wedding I was in nearly 20 years ago. I lived nearly 1200 miles from the bride (a dear friend from 4th grade!) and groom, so I knew only one other person in the bridal party (also a friend since 4th grade). Not too long after the wedding, my friend shared a story about one of the groomsmen and his wife. He worked in sales and I believe she was a homemaker. They had a couple of kids, big, nice house (no small feat in Southern California, even 20 years ago), new cars…all the great things money could buy, right? They were getting divorced. The wife was complaining that the husband was never home, didn’t help with the kids, didn’t pay enough attention to her, didn’t do things around the house, etc. You’ve heard this story, right? Turns out, it was true…but why? Well, his response was, “I have to work these kinds of hours to earn the money to pay for all this stuff!” So, while he earned a nice living and could afford to keep them in style, he couldn’t be home to share and enjoy any of it. In the end, it cost his marriage and his family. Was it worth it? Only they can answer that question, but from my perspective, probably not!

Further along this train of thought, I think about how there are so many in our society caught up in this kind of a mess…working hard to earn money for nice houses, cars, things, and when we earn more money, we aren’t satisfied with what we already have, so we upgrade…and then we have to keep working harder and longer hours to make more money to support all the stuff that we no longer have the time or energy to enjoy!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be on that train! I’m rethinking and redefining what success means to me. Success is a relative thing, though. What works for one person or family may not work for the next person.

Now, I’m not saying making a good living is a bad thing. I want to earn a decent living, to provide for my family, live comfortably, know that I can cover a major car repair or other unexpected event, take a vacation once in a while, and also splurge on frivolous things once in a while. I also want enough money to be able to give it away to people and causes that touch my heart and make me want to be a better person. I want time to be creative outside of work, to spend with my family, to read good books, take long walks, have deep conversations with friends old and new. Yes, I want things money can buy, and so much more that money has no bearing on.

The good news is: You get to decide. You get to define what success means to you and what you’re willing to pay for it. You are the person who needs to be comfortable and satisfied with the decisions you make and the actions you take each day.

In the book The Rhythm of Life, author Matthew Kelly encourages the reader to define what he or she wants from life. In fact, he says being able to answer that question is far more important than anything else he will write in the rest of the book, so put the book down and come back to it after you’ve figured it out…This is on page 12 of the book! I’ve shared this with quite a few people since I read it a few months ago, and I still don’t know if any of them have made it past page 12.

What does success mean to you?

What is it worth to you? What are you willing to give in exchange?

I encourage you to take the time to really think this through. Allow yourself the freedom to define it on your own terms; liberate yourself from the expectations and pressure of the outside world. Be true to yourself and those you love.

As many of us have probably experienced, if we don’t define it, someone will do it for us…and we will wake up one day, look around, and think: “How on earth did I get here? What is all this stuff? I didn’t want this…”

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Taking stock and clearing out the clutter

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , on September 9, 2012| 1 Comment »

The “town” (I say this in quotes because we have a Mayor and City Council, but our town is only houses and families…no services…seems funny to me!) has a community yard sale day twice a year; yesterday was the latest. It marked the 5th time we’ve participated, although on a much smaller scale than in years past. I kept the door open for only two hours, rather than six, but it felt so good to move some of our things on to others who will find them useful, even though we don’t, any longer.

In recent months, I’ve had a very strong need to clean things out, both literally and figuratively. I’ve been cleaning out my closets and drawers, throwing things away, and sending stuff to Goodwill and Salvation Army with the hope that someone else may get some good use out of the things I no longer need, want, use. Some days, this need is so strong, it’s a physical vibration (well, this makes sense if all things are energy, flowing into and out of things, then it’s just my frequency responding…) and I am compelled to clean, sort, and toss.

It feels much better to have what I need and use, and not be confronted with too many choices about what to wear and use each day.

There used to be a time when my purchases were based on what they cost, not necessarily on quality or value. These days, I am in a position to think less about cost and base decisions on quality and value, and it’s a much better place, to be sure. Take my wardrobe, for instance. I’ve never been a fashion plate, leaning more toward the comfortable than the latest fashions. I want what I buy to be things I truly love, feel good in, and know I can wear for years — both because the styles will still be fine, and because they are of such a quality that they will still be in great shape for some time.

What does this have to do with personal growth and leadership, you are probably asking yourself. Well, here’s the parallel, at least in my mind.

As I get older, I’m more focused, more in tune with myself and what I need to be a whole, healthy, happy person who is able to contribute and add value to others. As with the things in my closets, cupboards, and drawers, I am also taking stock of who I am, what I have to offer, how I want to spend my time, and with whom I want to share it.

One of my mentors, John Maxwell, shares that at the end of each year, he takes a week off to review how he spent the past year, before he plans for the coming year. He considers each person he’s spent time with in terms of whether the relationship was positive, one that added value to his life and lifted him up, or whether it was one of those relationships that suck the life out of you (my words, not his!). Based on this reflection, he decides who he wants to spend more time with in the coming year (think ‘life energy’) and who he will spend less (or no) time with in the future. He follows the same pattern with engagements, meetings, and other activities.

John understands that this is not a dress rehearsal. We get only one shot at this thing we call life and he wants it to be a quality experience. Me, too!

I want to spend my time with quality, like-minded people. I need to spend time with people who are better at the things I want to learn and in the areas in which I want to grow. I need to read good books; ones that make me think, expose me to new ideas, challenge my perceptions about what is possible, and allow me to learn from others’ experiences. This is not to say I don’t read the occasional frivolous fiction (I can’t help but lose myself in the ridiculous world of Stephanie Plum from time to time!)…but the point is, I am working on being more intentional about how I spend my time and who I spend it with.

I know many people think in terms of “spring cleaning,” but fall has always been a time of renewal for me. Although, I suspect, this will be an on-going process for me from now on, as each day I understand more fully that growth in any area is a daily process, a daily activity…not just something one does for some pre-determined amount of time (four years of college, perhaps…) and then is done. The thing is, I’m not done, and doubt I ever will be.

My questions for you are these:

When do you take stock of your life and how you are spending your life energy?
How often, and how frequently, do you spend time in reflection?
Does that time reinforce the good and right in your life?
Does it lead you to explore new paths, and make changes?
Are you any closer to understanding the difference between need and want?

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Who are you when no one is looking?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , on September 4, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I’ve been thinking a lot about integrity and character lately.

I’ve heard it said that the true test of a person’s character is what he or she does when they believe no one is watching.

Here are a couple of examples that have stuck with me:

I used to live in Central Washington State, in a city comparable in population to Parkersburg. The couple who lived next door moved there from Alaska so the husband could go through a 3-4 year school program, which would allow him to change careers. When he was finished with his program, they intended to sell their home in WA and move back to Alaska. Yes, that’s right — they bought a home in Washington. However, they continued to license their cars in Alaska.

It’s logical to think there might be a financial advantage to continuing to license a car in one state when one has established a residence in another. While I have never lived in Alaska and don’t know what it costs to license a car there, I do know it costs only about $42 per year to license a car in Washington state — not a big financial hit. Perhaps there is another reason for this behavior, but it’s the law that you will register and license your vehicles in the state in which you reside. This leaves a lot of room for speculation about the person’s motives for not abiding by the law, especially when you are abiding by it.

On the other side of this coin, in the same Central Washington city, one of my colleagues told a story about running some errands with his pre-teen son one weekend. They went to one of the major electronics stores and purchased a few things, stopped at a couple of other shops, and then stopped for lunch. While they were eating, his son was looking at the receipts and said, “Hey Dad, they didn’t charge us for one of the things we got at…(the electronics store).” My colleague replied, “Well, right after we finish eating, we will stop back by there and pay for it before we go home.”

I don’t remember what the item was, but its price was about $150. In the course of a day’s sales at this particular store, likely just a drop in the bucket. But, those kinds of drops add up and there are consequences — to both the associates in the store and the store itself.

As he told this story, my colleague was mindful that he was setting an example for his son and wanted to do the right thing. He explained to his son that while it seemed like they got lucky by not having to pay for the item, there would be consequences for both the sales associate and the business if they didn’t go back and correct the situation. So they did.

These are not unique situations; they are examples of the kinds of things that happen daily — in whatever city you are in. In fact, there are people I know today who have licensed their vehicles in a state different from the one in which they live. Again, I can only speculate on their motives for doing so, but the behavior feels wrong to me.

It’s important to be aware that regardless of how “invisible” you might think you are, someone is always watching. They are drawing conclusions and making up stories that fit with their beliefs, values, and experiences, which may be nowhere near the truth of what’s really going on. And when you hear someone say “perception = reality,” it’s true; people believe what makes sense to them and people do what people see.

So, as a leader, you are always on stage. Someone is always watching. They are interpreting your actions based on partial pictures of what’s really going on. And they are sharing stories with others.

You have the opportunity to be aware of this. You have the opportunity to shape the stories they believe and tell others. You have the opportunity to do the right thing, or do something else because you think no one will know.

It’s your character. It’s your integrity. When you go to sleep at night, it’s all you really have control over.

Please do not misinterpret this as me implying that I do everything right every day, and that I have for all my life. Quite the contrary; I have made my share of mistakes, publicly and privately. As I said at the beginning, I think about this topic a lot. I make the effort to be intentional, daily, about what I do and say and the impact my words and actions will have on others, as well as on my future. I strive to be able to lay down to sleep at night knowing I did my best, set a good example, and can rest easily, knowing I did the good and right things that day.

The key, I believe, is to be mindful, intentional, and to reflect often on what we have done and experienced so we may take those lessons forward and do better the next time. It’s a daily process.

So, who are you when you think no one is watching?

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Hope is not a strategy…make a plan (Part 2)

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , on August 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Earlier this week, I shared a post about making an intentional plan to make your dreams a reality. As this is not a shallow subject, I wanted to revisit it.

Another of my mentors, Scott M. Fay (also faculty on the John Maxwell Team), owns a landscaping business. He says that people often ask, ‘when is the best time to plant a shade tree?’ His answer: 50 years ago! The second best time to plant a shade tree is today!

So, when is the best time to develop a personal growth plan — one that will allow you to achieve your dreams, and maximize your potential — well, probably a number of years ago, like in Junior High or High School, perhaps. Unless you are like Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties, most people aren’t that focused that early. So, the good news is, it’s not too late to map your plan now. In fact, if you don’t already have one, today is the best day to get started.

Getting Started
Again, this is a significant undertaking, and it’s very important; after all, it’s only your LIFE we are talking about! Take the time to think about what you really want from life; think in terms of family, health, fun, education, finance, travel, career…and define what success looks like for you. Then you can begin to map the steps you need to take along the way to reach your goal. Break it down in chunks; make the steps achievable within a reasonable amount of time.

Another critical step is really knowing yourself. Be honest about your strengths and shortcomings. You don’t have to share any of your insights, if you choose not to, but you need to be aware that the people closest to you are probably already very in-tune with them. The key is your own self-awareness. This allows you to know what you will be able to do on your own and what you will need to get support for. Remember, the people in your life — both current and some you haven’t yet met — are part of the resources you may need along your journey.

Be brave! Share your vision and your plans and ask for help. As I said, you’ll be amazed at how doors open for you. I speak from experience here. Several months ago, I wanted to start a Mastermind Group to study John Maxwell’s 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. I knew a few people who might be interested but not enough to fill a class, and I had no space in which to hold a weekly, 10-week session. I shared my vision with a couple of people. They were interested in participating, and recommended contacting another acquaintance who might have the meeting space. The third person not only offered the meeting space (“I’ll give you a key to the building; use the conference room any time you like…”), but he also filled the rest of the class! And it was a great experience for everyone involved. What an unexpected blessing!

Be open. Be open to new experiences, new lessons, new people.

Be grateful. Be grateful for what you already have, for the people already in your life, and the skills and talents you already possess. Be grateful for the opportunities that will surface, allowing you to learn and grow and experience new things.

Be intentional. Again, if you don’t map your plan, you will go along with the current and will someday find yourself a long way from where you want to be. This is a journey, a process…it will happen daily, not in a day.

Hope is a good thing. But it isn’t a strategy. It won’t drive you to success. You must take action.

Get started. It’s that simple. If you can see the first step, take it. Subsequent steps will become obvious to you as you move along. Again, the resources will become available as you need them.

If you have to, do it afraid! You’ll be glad you did.

What steps are you taking today to map out your plan and begin your journey?

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