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Intentional Leadership — D5, W2, M2 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , on February 22, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Another Friday; has this been the fastest passing week for you, too?

Wow! There are not a lot of experiences like the one I’m having this week. I have been with ~600 like-minded people, soaking up the teaching of John C. Maxwell, as well as the expertise and wisdom of my other mentors: Paul Martinelli, Christian Simpson, Roddy Galbraith, Ed DeCosta, and Melissa Malueg. It has been educational, invigorating, exciting, emotional…unbelievable!

But I digress! It’s time to prepare for the weekend. Have you actually been doing this? What difference is it making for you?

What do you need to take care of, think about, prepare for this weekend? Here are some things to consider:

In keeping with our focus this month, what relationships do you need to focus on and nurture this weekend?

Is it possible there are relationships you need to end?

What about your relationship with yourself — what do you need to do to focus on and nurture yourself this weekend?

What will that mean in terms of time, energy, preparation, activity?

How much rest do you need this weekend?

I need a bunch, again. And, again, it’s highly unlikely I will get enough. It’s been an intense week with early starts and late ends to the learning/training program I’ve been in all week, and today is the last day. One might imagine that the Friday schedule would be lighter, yet it is, in fact, long and full…12 hours tomorrow, to be exact! Then I need to pack and prepare to fly home on Saturday…for a delightful reunion with my family!

How much – and what kind of – activity do you need?

What loose ends do you need to tie up from this week?

What do you need to do to prepare yourself for a great start to next week, preparing for Monday?

Finally, what thought are you giving to things you have planned or need to prepare for or complete in the coming months?

On Monday, we will begin month two – week three of our Intentional Leadership Journey, continuing to focus on Relationships.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you on Monday!

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Intentional Leadership — D4, W2, M2 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , on February 21, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Thursday is a good day for reflection.

Take a little time today to consider what happened yesterday?

Did you take the time to let someone know about the potential you see in them? How did it go? What’s happening as a result?

Now let’s take a different approach.

Think about three people from your work/professional life. Write their names on a piece of paper.

Next to their names, write down the qualities you most admire in them. Then jot some ideas on the amazing accomplishments you believe could be realized if they worked together on a project of your choosing.

Who would do what?

How would each person shine in the project?

Can you envision it? What do you think would really happen if you moved it from an idea to reality? If there’s value in this exercise, take it another step further…

If you want to really have an impact, and make a difference in someone’s life, write at least one of them a hand-written note telling them how much you value them and their abilities; be specific about the qualities you admire and the potential you see in them. I look forward to hearing what happens next (use the comments box below to share your stories!).

Sent from my iPad

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Intentional Leadership — D3, W2, M1 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , on February 20, 2013| Leave a Comment »

What did you learn from yesterday’s exercise?

What will you do differently, to truly connect and build relationships with the people in your life?

Today, let’s switch gears a bit. One of my mentors often says, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” The point being, we can’t really see our full potential, but others can.

Which means you can see potential in others that they may not see in themselves. Spend some time today thinking about someone you see potential in, who may not be aware.

What might happen if you told them what you see in them? Is there a reason you wouldn’t share your insight with them?

Is there an opportunity you can give them that will allow them to cultivate that potential?

This is important stuff, so I encourage you to be thoughtful in the process, and then go ahead, have the conversation…you may just change someone’s life.

Sent from my iPad

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Intentional Leadership — D2, W2, M2 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , on February 19, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Today, we give some thought to what is true about ourselves.

Think of someone you know well and have a solid relationship with, or whom you consider to have built strong relationships with others. What are three key actions you’ve seen this person take to value and invest in others?

1.

2.

3.

What are three actions you take that are natural and easy ways to build relationships with?

1.

2.

3.

I know a woman who is very good at this, and am blessed to know she is truly my friend. She takes a genuine interest in people, understands the power of really listening to a person, and demonstrates her commitment to the relationship by making the effort to stay connected and engage in meaningful conversations with the people who are important in her life.

It’s a relationship I value and one that reminds me how important it is to not take people for granted.

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Intentional Leadership — D1, W2, M2 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2013| Leave a Comment »

This week we are going to explore the potential we see in others.

How familiar are you with the story of Helen Keller?
She was unable to see and hear, and consequently, to speak. As a child, her parents brought in a tutor, Miss Sullivan, to teach her.
Miss Sullivan turned out to be most creative, perhaps even unconventional, in her methods for teaching Hellen to learn letters and words. She tried to “sign” a pattern of letters into Helen’s hand, but Helen failed to grasp their meaning.
Finally, Miss Sullivan took Helen out to the water pump in the yard, and held her hand under the running water. In her other hand, Miss Sullivan drummed out the patterns of the letters of the word “water;” Helen stood transfixed, feeling the water run over one hand while he focused on the pattern of the letters being tapped out in her other hand. It was ingenious!
Helen’s progress in learning was quite accelerated; she mastered a complex vocabulary, eventually learning to write — both the standard alphabet and in Braille. She even learned to speak.
She went on to graduate from college, wrote fourteen books, traveled to numerous countries, met a number of world leaders and served as an Ambassador for the American Foundation of the Blind.
It’s a miraculous story; one that would never have happened had Anne Sullivan not been brought in to tutor Helen, and had she not recognized Helen’s potential. The moral of the story: When we see the value in others, we have an opportunity to help them achieve great things.
Think back over the course of your life. Who believed in you?
What did they do to encourage you to stretch and go farther than you may have thought possible?
How did they demonstrate their belief in you?
Had they not believed in you — or didn’t demonstrate that belief — what impact would that have had on your life?
Who have you seen unrecognized potential in?
What did you do to nurture its growth?

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Intentional Leadership — D5, W1, M2 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Another Friday, another week gone by, and a new focus. Time for the weekend…

As we head into this first weekend of Month Two — focused on relationships — what are your thoughts?

What do you need to take care of, think about, prepare for this weekend? Here are some things to consider:

What relationships do you need to focus on and nurture this weekend?

What will that mean in terms of time, energy, preparation, activity?

As you make your list, don’t forget to include yourself. If you don’t take care of you, you won’t be able to care for others.

How much rest do you need this weekend? I need a bunch, but it would take a superhuman effort to get it. Lots to do this weekend, as I have a BIG (and I mean HUGE) week coming — but more about that in another post.

How much – and what kind of – activity do you need?

What loose ends do you need to tie up from this week?

What do you need to do to prepare yourself for a great start to next week, preparing for Monday?

Finally, what thought are you giving to things you have planned or need to prepare for or complete in the coming months?

On Monday, we will begin month two – week two of our Intentional Leadership Journey, continuing to focus on Relationships.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you on Monday!

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Intentional Leadership — D4, W1, M2 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Good morning, and Happy Thursday!

Today is another day for reflection. I encourage you to spend some time journaling about what you learned through your colleague, yesterday, about external perceptions of your skills in building the foundational elements of relationships.

What did you learn?

How can you use this new insight to help you improve?

When you are done with that, shift to thinking about the people you lead or interact with regularly. In each of the foundational areas, write down an action step you can take to promote these behaviors and strengthen your relationships.

Honesty

Reliability

Relating

Empathy

Time

Now, we know that if we don’t make these actions a priority, they won’t likely get done. So, let’s look at your schedule…fit these actions into your schedules on specific days and times. You will have a much greater chance of success then.

After all, your calendar is one telling measure of what your true priorities are.

Have a thoughtful Thursday!

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Intentional Leadership — D3, W1, M2 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership on February 13, 2013| Leave a Comment »

How did your self-assessment go yesterday?

Today, let’s get an outside perspective and find out how close our self-pereption is to that of others.

Find a close friend or colleague, someone you trust, and share your homework from yesterday. Ask them how they would rate you on the same five areas. It’s important that you do this exercise with someone who will be really frank with you, as getting feedback with someone who will not tell you the truth will not really help.

Five elements for building great relationships:

Honesty: When you speak with others, how open are you? Do you share information about yourself that might reflect poorly on you? Are you comfortable acknowledging that you don’t know something, or do you bluff your way through as if you are knowledgeable?

Reliability: Can others count on you to follow through on your commitments?

Relating: When you are with others, do you listen attentively, seeking to understand others first? Or are you focused on being understood?

Empathy: Do you demonstrate your concern for others by doing what you can when someone needs help? Recognize that support may take many forms: standing up for someone, listening, taking action on another’s behalf, or just doing some small act of kindness.

Time: Are you consistent about investing time and energy into your most important relationships? Are you contributing to the health of your relationships, or are you taking, not giving? As John Maxwell says, in every relationship you can be a + or a – … which are you?

If your self-assessment is close to that of your colleague’s, then you should consider yourself reasonably self-aware. If you find some gaps, I encourage you to consider them an opportunity for growth. Spend some time in reflection, so you understand the disconnects and determine if it’s worth making some changes.

We’ll be spending this whole month on relationships, so don’t rush through this part.

On a personal note, I am doing some homework along this line in preparation for Think Tank Day — part of the John Maxwell Team training I’ll be attending next week. The first step was to write a third-person description of myself, providing an overview of my personalities, including strengths and weaknesses. After I have my description written, I will share it with a few people who know me well and whose opinions I respect, to see how close I come to how others perceive me. It could be a truly eye-opening experience. I’m excited to find out!

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Intentional Leadership — D2, W1, M2 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , , , on February 12, 2013| Leave a Comment »

It’s self-assessment time! Before we get too far into thinking about and discussing relationships, let’s see how we do on some key foundational elements of relationship-building.

Assess yourself on each of these elements:

Honesty: When you speak with others, how open are you? Do you share information about yourself that might reflect poorly on you? Are you comfortable acknowledging that you don’t know something, or do you bluff your way through as if you are knowledgeable?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Reliability: Can others count on you to follow through on your commitments?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Relating: When you are with others, do you listen attentively, seeking to understand others first? Or are you focused on being understood?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Empathy: Do you demonstrate your concern for others by doing what you can when someone needs help? Recognize that support may take many forms: standing up for someone, listening, taking action on another’s behalf, or just doing some small act of kindness.

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Time: Are you consistent about investing time and energy into your most important relationships? Are you contributing to the health of your relationships, or are you taking, not giving? As John Maxwell says, in every relationship you can be a + or a – … which are you?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

After rating yourself, spend a little time to summarize your thoughts on this exercise. Are you a plus (+) or a minus (-)? What did you learn that you can use to improve your approach to relationships?

This area of leadership is like all the others in that to do well here, one must have a certain level of self-awareness and operate in an intentional manner. As with the exercises that came before now, it’s important that you are really honest with yourself. If you are shallow in this area, it will be readily apparent.

“See” you on Wednesday!

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Intentional Leadership — M2, W1, Day 1 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , , on February 11, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Welcome to month 2 of our Intentional Leadership journey, focused on relationships.

As we start this first week, it makes sense to consider, first, our relationship with ourselves.

If you’ve done much reading about Abraham Lincoln, you will be well aware that he took quite the journey learning to be a leader. He encountered many challenges along his path, often experiencing events that may have driven some to give up, but he was persistent and knew he had important work to do. Over the course of his journey, he came to know his strengths and weaknesses quite well. This self-awareness allowed him to form relationships with rivals as he steered the country through some of its toughest times.

When we look at many leaders — within organizations, local and state governments, and even those responsible for entire countries — quite often you will notice they have built their inner circles with loyal supporter and long-time colleagues. Not Lincoln; he built his cabinet with bitter rivals, knowing full well they would not see eye-to-eye on many matters that would determine what kind of country the US would be, following the Civil War. He realized, though, that each of those men had invaluable knowledge, wisdom, and experience, and he needed the best to help move the country through such a precarious time.

It takes a strong, confident leader to do that. He knew his ideas and decisions would be challenged, and he understood it would be in the country’s best interest to open himself up to that level of scrutiny. He knew the others had value to add, and would help him to make sound, well-considered decisions about our country’s future.

As you come to truly know yourself — values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, passions, dreams — you will come to more easily recognize those characteristics and qualities in others, and to appreciate them, as well. You will be able to recognize the value of working together.

Eleven years ago, I went through a life-changing leadership development program. One of the things I learned is: No one of us is as smart as all of us.

No one of us is as smart as all of us.

Before we dive into relationships with others, let’s take a close look at ourselves today. Take an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses with respect to building and maintaining relationships.

Which skills do you believe to be your strengths?

Which skills would you be well-served to work on?

You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together, we can do great things.  — Mother Teresa

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