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Do you have your journal handy? We’re going to follow-up on yesterday’s exercise.

Review your answers to the questions from yesterday. When you’ve done this, do you find your attitude is most negative in your personal or professional environment?

Once you’ve determined that, write down three specific ways you can choose to respond (remember, responding to something is thoughtful and intentional, rather than immediate and emotional) positively, instead, in those situations.

For greater accountability, make a copy of this list and share it with someone close to you. Ask that person to check in with you from time-to-time over the next month.

Remember, you can answer them anyway you like, but the proof is in the pudding, as they say…and if you aren’t actually doing what you say, it will be evident in your behaviors!

Let’s spend some time on a personal inventory today. Get out your journal and list three people in your personal and professional lives that have impacted you; include both positive and negative influences.

Make two columns on a page, one headed Personal Life, one headed Professional Life.

List three people in each column and place a – (minus) or a + (plus) next to each name, based on their influence on your life. Then answer the following questions:

What common threads do you see among those who were positive influences?

What common threads do you see among those who were negative influences?

When you evaluate your current circumstances, in both your personal and professional lives, is your attitude the same, or different, in each aspect? Describe your current attitude in both areas of your life.

As we’ve discussed, there are times when the only thing we can control is our attitude. When you look at the areas above that you marked as negative, wht choices can you make to be more positive in those circumstances?

One of the more positive influences in my life was Mac Bledsoe (if you’re a football fan, you might know him as Drew Bledsoe’s dad). Mac was a teacher when I was in high school, as well as the football coach. He taught a few classes, but the one that made the most impact on me was a class he called “I Can” and it was based on the philosophies and teachings of Zig Ziglar. It’s been 30 years since I was in school, but I can still remember Mac and the many lessons he taught me, as if they were just last year. Thank you, Mac!

I look forward to hearing what you’ve come up with through this exercise.

Over the course of your life, you will experience a variety of things that will have the power to influence your outlook in both positive and negative ways. As I suggested last week, as we started this month-long focus on attitude, each of us gets to choose how we interpret and react or respond to each of those events.

When I was in high school, I was active in student government, wrote for and eventually became editor of the school newspaper, and was very active in planning school events, like homecoming week. We also had a program called Jr. Miss. This was a national program, and while it might appear to be a pageant program, it is based on scholarship, personality, and talent — not on beauty, and there was no swimsuit competition!  Girls were invited to participate in the program during their Junior year of high school; the winner would spend the year representing her community at other pageants, in parades, county fairs, local events, at a variety of speaking engagements, and competing at the state level pageant (the winner of which would compete at the national competition that was held, at that time, in Mobile, Alabama).

My perspective on Jr. Miss was that it was something the popular, wealthy girls won. I had my share of friends, to be sure, and was included in a lot of things, but was never in the “in” crowd, and certainly was not from a wealthy family. But, when I received the invitation to get involved, I said, “What the heck! This looks like fun!” Of course, I never expected to win.

In fact, at the time, I was also running for student body president for my senior year of school. That was truly where my attention and energy was focused. And for a while, I was the front runner. My opponent was a girl who rubbed a lot of students the wrong way. Part way through the campaign, she switched places with the person who would have been VP, had she won, and he was much more liked by most of the school.  So, with him in the President position, and her in the VP position, the vote was much closer, and I lost by a few votes.

I was crushed! I really wanted the position. And yet, the Jr. Miss pageant process was still on-going. Because I was participating in this on a lark, as they say, you can imagine my surprise — and delight — when I actually won the Jr. Miss position!  Remember, it wasn’t what I most wanted, but I determined to make the best of it.  I choose my attitude, deciding to learn what I could, represent my community well, and sharpen some skills that I knew would serve me well later in life.

It offered me the opportunity to travel around certain regions in my state, visiting with a lot of people I never would have been in contact with in other circumstances: Community leaders, local legislators, other students, and people younger than me. I had the opportunity to speak at fairs, other pageants, in front of civic organizations, at schools, parades, and at community events. I was able to influence other young girls who were interested in growing and taking on bigger challenges. And I received scholarship funding for college, and who wouldn’t be thankful for that?!

All of these skills and experiences have served me well ever since. And I’m thankful for having had the opportunity to participate, and for all of the opportunities I’ve had since then. Had I chosen to wallow in self-pity over my defeat during the student body elections, I would have stunted my growth, at least for a while. I could have become angry, bitter, etc…I’m so thankful I didn’t.

What experiences have you had that have influenced your life and your attitude? Write them down.

Outline whether they were negative or positive and what you did or didn’t do as a result?

What gratitude do you have, or what regrets do you carry, as a result?

How do these experiences influence who you are today?

Whom are you influencing with your attitude and how you respond to the events in your life, both good and bad?

Happy Friday! What attitude have you chosen for yourself today? I choose “having another great day!”

I’ve spent the past few days participating in the WV State Chamber of Commerce Annual Business Summit. There are approximately 800 business leaders and legislators in attendance, so you can imagine that it’s a busy event with a full agenda. Healthcare and education issues are hot on the agenda.

It’s been a great opportunity to reconnect with some friends from my Leadership WV class (2011), catch up with some business associates, and meet some new people. I’ve had some unexpected insights, and realized this week that a certain era in my life has just come to an end. It was a somewhat bittersweet moment, this realization, but I know it’s time to make this change. All in all, it’s been time well spent in a beautiful and unique location (The Greenbrier Resort, White Sulphur Springs, WV). And this afternoon, I will zoom home to my family.

By now, you know the Friday drill, right? It’s time to give some thought to our weekend agendas. For me, it will be family time; I’ve been traveling quite a bit these past 6 weeks, or so, and that means not as much time with my family as I’m used to. So, for the holiday weekend, we will have some fun together; very much looking forward to it.

I will spend some time preparing for Tuesday’s Empowerment Mentoring lesson — You Are Perfect — as well as working on my calendar for the next few weeks. I have some teaching opportunities coming up, so need to polish up a couple of lessons, and I have several coaching sessions scheduled.

So, what’s on your weekend plan?

Who do you need to spend time with?

Will it be a fun weekend or a work weekend?

A personal time weekend or a family time weekend?

What do you need to do to set yourself up for success in the new week? And in the coming weeks?

Whatever is on your agenda, I hope you spend the time intentionally.

“See” you Monday!

Spend some time with your journal today, writing about someone you consider to be a role model in having a positive attitude. What do they do that demonstrates this?

What impact do they have on you and others?

How might you benefit by making an adjustment in your attitude?

Also, take some time to write about the insights you’ve had this week, our first week of focus on Attitude. How can you apply what you’ve learned about the importance of attitude on the outcomes in our lives?

How can what you’ve learned help you to become a more effective leader?

Today, I encourage you to step outside yourself and spend some time with someone you know who demonstrates a consistently positive attitude. Ask them the following questions:

How has your attitude affected your success in life?

How do you prevent obstacles from discouraging you?

Have you always been so positive, or have you had specific experiences that shaped you into the person I see today?

When you have listened to the person’s responses, smile and thank him or her for taking the time to share with you. Then take some time to reflect on what they shared that might be of value to you as you move through your life.

Take some time with this exercise…jot down the highlights of your conversation, make note of the behaviors and actions you might apply in your life, and set forth a plan to do just that.

For a long time, I had a note on my daily calendar that said, simply: Choose your attitude! It was the first thing I saw every day, and after looking at it first thing in the morning, every day for several years, I no longer need the calendar reminder. This is not to say I am glowingly positive every second of every day, but that awareness is fresh in my mind, and I am much more mindful of the power I have to choose.

Good morning and Happy Tuesday! Today is self-awareness and reflection day. Get out your journal and spend some time writing about a time when your attitude had a positive effect on those around you.

At that time in your life, what were the key influencers that shaped your positive attitude?

Now take a look at a time in your life that was a polar opposite — describe a time when your attitude had a negative influence on those around you.

At that time in your life, what were the key influencers that shaped your negative attitude?

What patterns are there in your decision-making that influence whether your attitude is positive or negative in a given situation?

With this new level of self-awareness, how will you approach similar situations differently?

You’ve likely heard the story that it took Thomas Edison 10,000 tries before successfully inventing the lightbulb. Some would consider that a lot of failure on the path to eventual success. He didn’t appear to take it that way. In fact, I’ve heard his response was that he hadn’t failed 9,999 times, rather, he had discovered 9,999 ways NOT to make a lightbulb! To me, that speaks of a pretty positive attitude; certainly one who would not be daunted easily by what some might consider a set-back.

Or what about the scientists at 3M who invented Post-it Notes. The story goes that they were attempting to create a sticky glue substance, not one that held lightly for a while, but was easily detached. Was what they discovered a failure? Not by a long-shot! While they weren’t immediately successful in creating what they had set out to create, they created something extremely useful and valuable. I’m sure 3M would say this “failure” was worth billions, literally!

The key is how we choose to look at and respond to the things that happen to us. I’d say these two examples demonstrate some folks who have chosen to approach their lives and work with a positive attitude.

Two weeks ago, I was in Orlando, Florida, with the John Maxwell Team, and we were blessed to have Nick Vujicic with he. He spent a considerable amount of time sharing his story with us. If anyone were to have an excuse for having a negative attitude, Nick would likely get a pass. He was born without arms and legs. Today, at 30, he is happily married and has a 6-month old son. He travels the world bringing awareness to a variety of issues that touch his heart, motivating others, and displaying the value and fruits one may harvest if one faces life with a positive attitude. He swims, has been surfing, sky-diving, and, again, travels the world. He has an undeniable zest for life and is not willing to let anything stand in the way of achieving his heart’s desire.

If you ever have the chance to see or hear him speak, I highly encourage you to do it! His attitude is contagious in a very good way.

Personally, he is a reminder to me that very little in life is truly impossible. His story reminds me that although I will face adversity in my life, and I may not be immediately successful in everything I endeavor to do, there really is nothing holding me back except for me. I find, it’s an effective attitude adjustment.

Today, as we begin these four weeks focused on attitude, it’s good to have a baseline to measure from. Take a close look are your attitude in both your personal and professional lives. What is working well for you?

What do you need to change?

How is your attitude impacting the people around you?

As John Maxwell often says, in every relationship, you have the opportunity to be a plus or a minus. What do you choose?

Eleven years ago, I went through a life-changing leadership training process. During the course of that journey, we studied the Fish! Philosophy, based on how the fishmongers at the Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle, WA, approach their work. Essentially, there are four things these men are focused on as they approach their work, and really their daily lives, and one of them is this: Choose Your Attitude!

It really made an impression on me, because truly it is a choice. We have no control over what life will throw at us, what others will do or say to us. All we have control over is how we choose to react or respond. We can choose what our attitude will be about what happens to us. And frankly, if we don’t choose, we put ourselves in the victim mode. I don’t know about you, but I’m not cut out for that. Yes, I do have my less-than-stellar moments of frustration, impatience, etc…but I typically recover pretty quickly and move on to problem-solving so I can move forward.

Olympic Gold Medalist, Scott Hamilton, said, “The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” Well put, I say!

No matter what happens to each of us in our lives, the best way to create the kind of life and success we desire is to commit to having a positive attitude. When you do this, you don’t waste your time and energy complaining or wishing things were different. You recognize you are the captain of your ship, and have the power to navigate your course. This allows you to focus your energy on creating more of what you do want, and moving farther away from what you don’t want.

As you do this, you become the kind of leader that attracts others. Think about it: Whom do you want to spend a lot of time with — someone with a positive, up-beat attitude, or with someone who has an negative attitude?

Think about your attitude,  and ask yourself this: Is my attitude an asset or a liability? Will it allow me to propel myself forward into living the life I desire, or will it hold me back? Will it attract other like-minded, talented, creative people to me, or will it attract those who are focused on doom and gloom?

How important has your attitude been to your success in life so far?

What do you allow to influence your attitude — both in positive and negative ways?

What kinds of choices can you make each day to maintain a positive attitude?

How has your attitude made a difference in your role as a leader?

Tomorrow, we will begin our four-week journey focused on Attitude. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the subject.

Dear Faithful readers: Please forgive me for missing my usual blog post on Friday, which would have been D5 of W4, of this 8th month of our Intentional Leadership journey, focused on change. Something that one couldn’t have anticipated happened early Friday morning that demanded my attention and kept me otherwise fully engaged all day. I apologize for missing a step in our process.

However, I’m confident that by now, at the end of our 8th month on this journey, that you are in the swing of our Friday routine and would likely be on track with taking  a proactive approach to planning your weekend, without my weekly reminder.

My Friday was supposed to be spent immersed in a full-day off-site team-building and vision-defining meeting. Again, something unexpected happened to derail that plan. Saturday required some follow-up to the Friday events, and some quality time, alone, with my husband. It was delightful!

Today, I spent some time with my son and mother-in-law at the WV State Honey Festival! Now, I am catching up with you and preparing for the week ahead. I will be traveling, again (have had a lot of opportunities to travel these past six weeks) this week, to The Greenbrier Resort for the WV State Chamber of Commerce Annual Meeting and Business Summit. This is a great event each year, as it allows me to catch up with friends and associates from around the state whom I don’t have the opportunity to see very often, and to meet new people I’m not yet aware of. It will be a time of reminiscing, learning, and divine appointments. Have to say, I had some amazing meetings, conversations, and connections with a few folks last year; I trust this year will be just as rewarding.

I also need to prepare for this week’s Empowerment Mentoring lesson on Comfort Zone — and how being in our comfort zone isn’t always a good thing.

I hope you don’t mind my taking this space to do my usual month-end wrap-up on Change.

As I’m sure you’re aware, the only constant in today’s world is change; it is an unavoidable reality of life. As a leader, we must take responsibility for anticipating change, understanding its implications, and guiding our people through it. This requires a blend of qualities and skills…bravery, flexibility, determination, casting a clear vision, providing frequent communication, and consistent behavior.

As you know — and maybe you feel this way, as well — many people abhor change, would rather go through all kinds of other unpleasantries, or even give up on their potential to avoid it. You will be tested in this arena, needing to put forth all of your abilities and talents to overcome the resistance of the status quo. This can be a grueling, thankless journey, but if you are driven to be a leader, it’s the path you have chosen.

Change and growth go hand-in-hand. If you aren’t growing, you aren’t going anywhere. If you stay the same, you will become stagnant, and we all know, nothing grows in stagnant pools.

I encourage you to embrace change. Plunge forward with courage. Help others see the possibilities in the future, through the path of change. Remember, if you are going through change and you have some level of confusion, it’s a good thing! Yes, a good thing. If you are going through change and you aren’t confused, it means you already know what you need to or have given up trying to understand it. If you are confused, it means you are going through a growth process.

Embrace change! If you don’t, won’t, or can’t…give up on leadership — you can’t lead if you can’t navigate change.

Now, having said that, I trust that since you’ve made it through this 8th month of our journey so far, you won’t give in to complacency. So, I’ll “see” you on Monday, as we move into our 9th month, focused on Attitude.