Posts Tagged ‘Attitude’

Folks, I was honored to be invited to share the radio waves with my friend, colleague, and business partner, Tracy Worley, on her Gracebreak Blog Talk Radio on Monday.

We shared a half hour (a very fast half hour, from my perspective) talking about finding meaning in your life, discovering your purpose, knowing what motivates you, and how to recognize and reward your team. I’m confident there’s some nugget of wisdom in here that will help you, if you will take the time to listen. And I say this because I have been blessed to have been mentored, coached, and taught by some amazing minds — John Maxwell, Paul Martinelli, Christian Simpson, Mac Bledsoe, and others — throughout my life, and I do my best to be a river (picking up and sharing wisdom along my journey) rather than a reservoir (holding in all I’ve gathered for only my own use).

Here’s the link. Be sure to share it with anyone you think might get some value out of it. And be sure to come back and tell me what you think! And in the meantime, have an intentional day.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.

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I hit a new low last Friday, and it was a delightful experience. It was on my scale!

The number that appeared on my scale early Friday morning isn’t important to anyone except me, and truly even the number isn’t the most important thing about this experience. What is, is the person I’m becoming.

My son turned 7 years old at the end of November. In December, I was finally at a weight a few pounds lower than I was when I got pregnant. For most of that time in between, I wished I would lose the weight — and I had lost most of it, hovering near my pre-pregnancy weight for much of that time — and feel better and get back in shape, but I didn’t really do anything to make it happen.

About 18 months ago, I started making some changes in eating and drinking habits. Last July, I started doing DDP Yoga at least four times a week. It’s not the kind of yoga that encourages quiet meditation; it makes me sweat, twitch, and tremble, and I love it! I’m still making changes in my approach to health. I try to get a brisk walk in on non-yoga days. I eat smaller portions and healthier snacks. The lure of the fast food drive-in no longer has power over me. I quite drinking coffee every morning because when I really thought about it, it didn’t taste like anything. I have even (wait — are you sitting down? This is BIG!!) stopped eating chocolate chips by the handful every day! I do treat myself to a piece of chocolate now and again, and when I do, I savor every bite.

The most amazing part of this is my thinking has changed, which is the most critical part of all of this. For example, when I think I’d like a treat and remember how yummy chocolate chips are, it’s almost as if some protective shield drops through part of my mind and pushes me to the fruit bowl on the counter instead. And I don’t feel deprived when it happens; I feel powerful and focused.

In fact, in my mind I’m cheering myself on to continue making healthier choices and demonstrating healthier behaviors. I’m becoming more intentional and demonstrating that I have the discipline to follow through. This is the important part because it means I am becoming the person who can bring my dream into reality, and let me assure you — it’s a BIG dream! In fact, I’m working through a process with one of my Coach/Mentors who has given me a homework assignment: Rewrite my dream, 10 times bigger than it already is. WOW!

The bottom line is, it’s about creating a vision for what we want in our lives, then developing a plan and following through — with a  PROCESS — that will allow us to bring that vision into reality. What’s most important is following through with the process. Getting back to the process when we’ve allowed ourselves to get derailed by some other issue, distraction, or challenge.

What do you dream of being, doing, or having in your life?

What process are you following?

Who is in your inner circle — those people who will support, encourage, and push you to be the person you are striving to become?

What will you do when you hit a bump and get off track?

Who are YOU becoming along the way?

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For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible. ~Stuart Chase

Over the past couple of years, I have significantly accelerated my personal growth, first by joining the John Maxwell Team, then by investing in the Mentorship program, then by enrolling in the Deeper Path Coaching Cohort, then a number of other investments, workshops, gaining access to mentors and coaches, studying books, and other lessons that have all seemed to roll out of and into each other…and one key point keeps rolling through my mind, day in and day out, with each new challenge and opportunity, and it is this:

Belief determines your potential

It’s another one of those things that is so simple, yet so profound, and so true.

You see, when I have believed in myself, I have been successful. When I have allowed doubt and fear to take charge, I have fallen behind. I see it in others, as well. You see it daily, also; although as you read the stories in the news, magazines, and in books, or hear them on the radio, you don’t always have the benefit of hearing the words explicitly stated.

I don’t watch American Idol, but I understand that it is Simon Cowell’s habit to ask each contestant why they think they can be the next winner; what he’s looking for is the person who unhesitatingly states something along the lines of: “This is what I was born for.” “I know this is my destiny.” “Because I believe I am the best at what I do, and I’m going to win!” The people who cannot state something close to these statements of confidence usually do not do as well. I suggest that in some of these cases, there is a lack of confidence, a lack of belief, or perhaps some self-limiting beliefs in action, holding these folks back from living into their full potential.

The point is to get you thinking about how your beliefs have impacted your potential.

Get out your journal and spend some time reflecting on these questions today:

Write a brief description of a time when you believed in yourself and your potential, and stepped forward into success.

What beliefs did you hold that made it possible?

What choices did you make to achieve your potential?

What can you carry forward, from this experience, that would serve you well in other situations?

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I used to be a daily coffee drinker. It always smelled delicious, but one day I actually started paying attention to how it tasted…and my conclusion was that it didn’t really taste like anything! I don’t think it was a quality issue; I started with whole coffee beans, freshly ground, fresh water…mixed with a little ½ and ½ in the cup.

Yes, drinking it had become a habit; something I did on auto-pilot without thinking about it. So, I asked myself why I was drinking coffee every day. The answer: That it had become a habit, was not good enough. A few days later, when I’d used up all the coffee beans I had, I cleaned out the coffee maker and stored it away in the cupboard.

Having consumed coffee nearly daily since high school, it was surprisingly easy to quit my daily habit! But I confess, I haven’t given it up completely.

I treat myself to a caramel latte once every couple of weeks. Last week, my latte treat got me thinking about leadership. Here’s what happened.

I went to my favorite coffee shop in between meetings. As I approached the counter, I noticed the young man stepping up to serve me had a hand-written name badge; translation – new employee, still in training. I placed my order, he repeated it back to me. We concluded the transaction, and he stepped over to the machine to make my drink.

I waited, anticipating how delicious it was going to be. You know how that works, when you’ve been craving something for a while, and you imagine the flavors floating through your mouth and you can’t wait for it to actually happen?

He handed it to me across the counter, I left the shop, got back in my car and started on to my next meeting; because the coffee was hot, I waited about 10 minutes before taking a sip. It was a big disappointment! No caramel flavor! I was too far down the road to go back. But, I did spend the rest of my drive thinking about how this experience relates to leadership and three lessons come to mind: Situational Leadership, Intent does NOT Equal Impact, and Trust but verify!.

Are you familiar with the Situational Leadership model, developed by Hersey and Blanchard? There are four stages of development for any task, with a leadership style to accompany each stage. Simply put:

In Development Level 1 (D1), a person is often motivated to learn to do the task, so the leader needs to give explicit directions (step-by-step) but not a lot of encouragement or support.

In D2, the person has tried to do the task a time or two, realizes it’s going to be harder than it looks, and is quickly de-motivated and often frustrated. At this stage, the leader still needs to give explicit, step-by-step instructions and a lot of support and encouragement.

After a little practice, the person moves into D3, when he/she generally has the process down, but needs more encouragement and support at the progress made going through it.

Eventually, the person reaches D4, and has become a master at the task; at this stage, the leader doesn’t need to give direction, nor a lot of support or encouragement. Again, this is very simplified and is task-based.

While I thought the trainers at my favorite coffee shop would have gone through this process with new employees –testing the results along the way to ensure expected taste, quality, and presentation of the various items they serve – I now know they didn’t (at least with respect to the caramel latte!).

I’m certain it was not his intent to serve me a disappointing latte (intent does not equal impact), so I have a choice to make – consider myself a victim (didn’t get the treat I was anticipating) or a victor (recognize my role in the experience and adapt my behavior). Knowing the young man was new at his job, I should have tasted my coffee before I left, knowing that if I waited until I was a way down the road, it would be too late to correct the situation (add caramel to my coffee).

My lesson, trust but verify!

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For the first time, EVER, two of my mentors, John C. Maxwell and Les Brown, appear together in a FREE 3-part video series “Behind the Stage … The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.”

These two have over 40 years of professional speaking experience and they are ready to share it all with you…what it’s really like to be a professional speaker.

Consider it EDUTAINMENT in its highest form! You’ll learn about the speaking business, as well as laugh with them at some of the experiences they have had and share in this video series…If you’ve ever heard Les Brown laugh, you know this is going to be fun; and if you haven’t, you are in for a treat!

Did I mention the 3 videos are not only FUNNY but are FREE?

This launched yesterday, Wednesday, October 23rd.

Here’s the link…After you’ve watched it, tell me what you think!


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As we get further along into this Intentional Leadership journey, it feels as if I am moving through the months faster and faster. I know, rationally, it isn’t real; each month has the same amount of time (give or take a day depending on which month we are in), but it seems as if we just started this month’s exploration into attitude, and now we are at the end!

I’d like to share this thought from inspirational author and speaker, Charles Swindoll:

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company…a church…a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you…we are in charge of our attitudes. As a leader, embrace the opportunities change gives and lead and grow through it.”

His ending sentiment about the 10 and 90 percents, falls right into line with the yoga program I’ve been doing these past three months. The founder of DDPYoga, Diamond Dallas Page (yes, I’m doing a yoga program developed by a former World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion! And, it’s making a huge difference in my life!), talks about living life at 90% — the 90% that is our choice of how we will react to the 10% of things that happen.

This is also a lesson I teach about being intentional in all areas of our life; mindfully giving consideration to the potential risks, benefits, implications, and consequences of any given action — whether it’s through written or spoken communication or action / behavior. When we are thoughtful about these things, we allow ourself the option of responding (thoughtfully and intentionally) rather than reacting, which is emotional and immediate, and often does not turn out as well as we would prefer.

This feeds right into attitude because, as Swindoll, and so many others before him have said, we get to choose our attitude. When things happen in life, they aren’t inherently good or bad until we assign meaning to them. According to the Law of Polarity, you can’t have a good without there being a bad…so we get to choose.

In closing, this is one of the principles I was fortunate to be asked to teach this week, on how “choosing your attitude” can make a huge difference in how your life experience happens.

The my closing question is, are you ready to take charge of your attitude and take charge of your life? Remember, it doesn’t affect only you…Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

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It’s Friday, again, and these four weeks of focus on attitude are coming to an end.

As we begin this weekend, what’s on your list?

Who do you need to spend time with this weekend?

What do you need to do for yourself this weekend?

What do you need to do to prepare for Monday, the coming week, and the weeks beyond?

My weekend will be similar to many…some writing, family time, a little more rest, and preparation for some upcoming teaching and the next Empowerment Mentoring Lesson — Drama this week, and reflection time.

It’s been a full but quick week. Several coaching sessions, including working with my coach, a team-building/strategy session, and was blessed to teach a lesson on attitude, being present, having fun, and making someone’s day.

Whatever is on your agenda for the weekend, I encourage you to spend it intentionally!

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