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Posts Tagged ‘Character’

Intentional Leadership — D2, W1, M2 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , , , on February 12, 2013| Leave a Comment »

It’s self-assessment time! Before we get too far into thinking about and discussing relationships, let’s see how we do on some key foundational elements of relationship-building.

Assess yourself on each of these elements:

Honesty: When you speak with others, how open are you? Do you share information about yourself that might reflect poorly on you? Are you comfortable acknowledging that you don’t know something, or do you bluff your way through as if you are knowledgeable?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Reliability: Can others count on you to follow through on your commitments?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Relating: When you are with others, do you listen attentively, seeking to understand others first? Or are you focused on being understood?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Empathy: Do you demonstrate your concern for others by doing what you can when someone needs help? Recognize that support may take many forms: standing up for someone, listening, taking action on another’s behalf, or just doing some small act of kindness.

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

Time: Are you consistent about investing time and energy into your most important relationships? Are you contributing to the health of your relationships, or are you taking, not giving? As John Maxwell says, in every relationship you can be a + or a – … which are you?

WEAK  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  STRONG

After rating yourself, spend a little time to summarize your thoughts on this exercise. Are you a plus (+) or a minus (-)? What did you learn that you can use to improve your approach to relationships?

This area of leadership is like all the others in that to do well here, one must have a certain level of self-awareness and operate in an intentional manner. As with the exercises that came before now, it’s important that you are really honest with yourself. If you are shallow in this area, it will be readily apparent.

“See” you on Wednesday!

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Intentional Leadership — M2, W1, Day 1 — Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , , on February 11, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Welcome to month 2 of our Intentional Leadership journey, focused on relationships.

As we start this first week, it makes sense to consider, first, our relationship with ourselves.

If you’ve done much reading about Abraham Lincoln, you will be well aware that he took quite the journey learning to be a leader. He encountered many challenges along his path, often experiencing events that may have driven some to give up, but he was persistent and knew he had important work to do. Over the course of his journey, he came to know his strengths and weaknesses quite well. This self-awareness allowed him to form relationships with rivals as he steered the country through some of its toughest times.

When we look at many leaders — within organizations, local and state governments, and even those responsible for entire countries — quite often you will notice they have built their inner circles with loyal supporter and long-time colleagues. Not Lincoln; he built his cabinet with bitter rivals, knowing full well they would not see eye-to-eye on many matters that would determine what kind of country the US would be, following the Civil War. He realized, though, that each of those men had invaluable knowledge, wisdom, and experience, and he needed the best to help move the country through such a precarious time.

It takes a strong, confident leader to do that. He knew his ideas and decisions would be challenged, and he understood it would be in the country’s best interest to open himself up to that level of scrutiny. He knew the others had value to add, and would help him to make sound, well-considered decisions about our country’s future.

As you come to truly know yourself — values, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, passions, dreams — you will come to more easily recognize those characteristics and qualities in others, and to appreciate them, as well. You will be able to recognize the value of working together.

Eleven years ago, I went through a life-changing leadership development program. One of the things I learned is: No one of us is as smart as all of us.

No one of us is as smart as all of us.

Before we dive into relationships with others, let’s take a close look at ourselves today. Take an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses with respect to building and maintaining relationships.

Which skills do you believe to be your strengths?

Which skills would you be well-served to work on?

You can do what I cannot do. I can do what you cannot do. Together, we can do great things.  — Mother Teresa

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Intentional Leadership – Month Two – Relationships

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , , , , , , on February 10, 2013| Leave a Comment »

On Monday, we will begin month two of our intentional leadership journey. As has become the pattern, I will share thoughts and exercises with you Monday – Friday each week. The premise for month two is this: Relationships are the best indicators of a successful and satisfied life.

If you’ve been through some “personality” assessments, you may have been categorized as a “task-focused” person rather than a “relationship-focused” person. Earlier in my life, I was more task-focused. I believe it’s the result of having grown up in an unstable household, the circumstances of which lead me to believe that I could count on only myself, and it was much safer to not need people or allow them to get close; after all, they would only disappoint or hurt me.

Those beliefs and behaviors served me well for some time. I learned to be very responsible, independent, self-sufficient, able to learn nearly any skill I needed to get through life’s basic needs and challenges. But there came a time when those beliefs and behaviors became more of a detriment to me. My ability to expand my influence and ability to get work done was severely limited. I had alienated a lot of people.

Over time, and a lot of painful experiences, I learned that not only would I be able to accomplish more and do whatever it was better, but also my life would be much richer if I could develop healthy relationships with people. It was hard. It required me to let my guard down and admit that I couldn’t do it all myself, and it was ok to need people.

I won’t say it’s been a bed of roses ever since. I’ve made bad decisions about trusting some, and not trusting others. I’ve been hurt, more than once. But I’ve also come to really value the relationships I have developed and have a true understanding of the saying: No one of us is as smart as all of us. I truly am more productive, effective, and able to accomplish so much more by connecting with others and spreading the load. And it’s ever so much more satisfying.

I learned that I cannot lead if I am the only one…as they say, if you are by yourself, you are not leading, merely taking a walk!

I believe in the power of true connection which leads to synergy which results in something so much greater than the sum of its parts. However, I also know that this doesn’t just happen. Often, especially in business, you will find groups of people who toil under the illusion they are a team and are all working on the same thing. When you get into the thick of whom they are and what they are doing, however, you discover they are just a group of people who think they are a team…and the results they achieve are either equal to or less than what the individuals would accomplish alone.

True teams do not happen by accident. They take time, intention, and focus to build. But when they really come together, the outcomes can be amazing – significantly more than the sum of their parts.

As we prepare to start Week One of Month Two, take a few minutes to think about these things:

How are your strengths and weaknesses reflected in your relationships?

How have relationships throughout your life helped you to grow into a leader?

When have you put aside relational differences to pursue a shared goal?

What sacrifices have you made for the sake of a relationship?

I look forward to this next part of our journey. Please share your thoughts along the way.

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Bring on the Rain!

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , on February 3, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I’ve been thinking a lot about resilience lately. Contemplating what it is that allows some people to emerge from adversity and change, stronger and more confident, ready for whatever comes next, while others sink into defeat, seemingly unable to overcome whatever hardship they have experienced.

About 10 years ago, my sister took me to see George Strait in concert, in Seattle. JoDee Messina opened for him. Prior to that night, she wasn’t really on my musical radar, but she put on a good show and it turned out I loved a lot of her songs. Last week, I rediscovered her while browsing the CD racks at Wal-Mart. I picked up her Greatest Hits CD (yes, I know — I’m out of sync with the times, not buying it in iTunes!). I’ve been enjoying it immensely, and have found myself playing one song over and over and over in the car. Here it is:

Bring on the Rain*

Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war

Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

It’s almost like the hard times circle round
A couple drops and they all start coming down
Yeah, I might feel defeated
I might hang my head
I might be barely breathing, but I’m not dead

‘Cause tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain

I’m not gonna let it get me down
I’m not gonna cry
And I’m not gonna lose any sleep tonight

‘Cause tomorrow’s another day
And I am not afraid
So bring on the rain

I appreciate the recognition that sometimes life is really hard, overwhelming even, and sometimes we need a time out. Time to breathe, regroup, and prepare to meet the challenges of life on a new day…and yet, we are undefeated; we are resilient; we will rise, again, to face whatever challenges that will emerge in our lives.

So, what is it that allows us to declare “I am not afraid!” Certainly, I’ve experienced adversity, profound pain, and what some may define as failure. But  every single time, I’ve woken up the next morning, and forged ahead to face life head-on…unsure how I would handle whatever came next, and yet, knowing down deep that come what may, I would do my best and keep moving.

After some reflection, I think resilience comes from a fundamental belief in ourselves, our value, our expectation that we are here to do something important — a healthy level of faith that all will be well in time. It’s borne of courage and confidence and the knowledge that the experience brings growth; having survived whatever the situation, we will emerge stronger and better able to make our way through whatever comes next.

What change are you working your way through?

Will you allow it to consume you and flavor the rest of your life?

Will you emerge stronger and more confident?

How resilient are you?

What is the foundation for your resilience?

 

What does this song say to you?

*Thank you to JoDee Messina, Tim McGraw, Billy Montana, and Helen Darling for sharing this song with us.

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Small Dog Wisdom — Part 2 — The Big Dog Lie

Posted in Worth Reading, tagged , , , , on January 31, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Have you ever spent much time with a small dog? Did you notice the air of self-confidence they exude? To them, external measures are meaningless, as Ed Gungor says in his book One Small Barking Dog. And this, I can say was unequivocally true, at least for one of my two small dogs.

Bean-dip came first. She actually belonged to the neighbors when I bought my first house. They left her alone in the yard, all the time, regardless of the weather, with no suitable shelter. She would find ways to escape the fence and run to my doorstep, where she would sit and whine until I heard her and let her in. And let me tell you, once she was in, she OWNED the place! And after a few “visits” the neighbors decided she didn’t need to come home anymore. She was brash and ferocious and assertive; afraid of nothing. I remember vividly the day she chased a full-sized garbage truck through the neighborhood barking up a storm as she ran…presumably saving the neighborhood from the foul-smelling, giant contraption. She was a Chihuahua-terrier mix, weighing a solid nine pounds on a good day. I don’t have a picture of her with me today, but if you want a visual, think “Taco Bell dog” from the late 1990’s!

Contrast her to Houdini, who I mistook for Bean-dip one rainy evening on my way home from work, silhouetted in the lights from on-coming traffic as he scurried across the road in front of the cars. I thought she had escaped the yard, only to discover this dog was male, an inch or so taller, and thinner than Bean-dip. Same short buff fur, and although according to the vet, he was a Basenji-Terrier mix, they looked like siblings. He was the quiet, gentle small dog, also confident in himself, but more interested in a cozy spot to nap than he was in taking on the world.

One lesson they reminded me of, frequently and in a variety of situations, was that small wasn’t less important or valuable than big, it was just different. But we live in a world that seems to compel us to continuously compare things, and sometimes one thing in that equation will be deemed of lesser value. Often it’s the smaller thing, isn’t it?
Just look at our cars and houses, our drive to accumulate more things, consider the so-called “value meals” in restaurants with ever-increasing portion sizes (of food that’s not necessarily good for us to begin with!)…but tell me, do these things equate to happiness, contentment, satisfaction, joy, and increased self-confidence?

I can speak for only myself, and my answer is “no.” Sure, I enjoy having nice things; I work hard, I buy quality, and I take good care of my things. But I have no misconception about what they are and what they represent. I need to be the right kind of person with a good heart and a giving spirit regardless of how I dress or what stuff I have and no amount of “stuff” is going to make me happy.

When I was working on my Master’s degree, there was a young man in my program. He was from Europe, very nice looking guy and smart. I soon learned he was also missing something significant. He was constantly buying things and when I say things, I don’t mean $10, inconsequential things (although he bought that kind of stuff in excess, as well), but I mean high-end expensive items – electronics, watches, clothing – and the labels and logos were very important to him; he bought whatever was considered the best at the time. One day, he was supposed to stop by to help with a house project. He pulled into the driveway in a brand new Jeep, one of the sportier models, fresh off the lot! He already had two other (not inexpensive) cars, and a motorcycle, if I remember correctly. He was bored, he said. Stopped by the car lot just for fun, and voila! He was now the proud new owner of this Jeep…that he couldn’t afford (his debt was staggering, and his compensation no match for what his monthly payments must have been)…and the next week, he was on a quest for the next thing, that next acquisition he was sure was going to make him happy.

As Ed Gungor says, on page 31 of One Small Barking Dog, “It’s what’s inside that counts most. And there’s another problem (with the big-dog lie): when externals matter too much, it makes you weird.”

Well put, Ed!

What do you think about the power of the small dog? And how does the “big dog lie” play out in your life?

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Small Dog Wisdom — Part 1

Posted in Worth Reading, tagged , , , on January 28, 2013| Leave a Comment »

My sister sent me a book for my birthday a couple of months ago. It’s called One Small Barking Dog, How to Live a Life That’s Hard to Ignore, by Ed Gungor. I didn’t ask her if she sent it because of the content – fitting right in with my passion and purpose – or if it was because of the small dog (I used to have two small dogs, one of whom believed herself to be bigger than anything and everything around her – both in heaven, now).

I’ve been reading through it over the past week, and there is a lot of wisdom in this little book, so I thought I would share some of the pearls with you over the course of a few blog posts.

The first gem that captured my attention is the idea of daring to be small. In today’s society, it seems the goal is for us to be bigger than life, the best at whatever, forces to be reckoned with, driving dramatic change. Gungor presents the idea that, perhaps, truly our purpose is to do the “small” things…to be the purveyor of small acts of kindness, changing the world one act or one person at a time. In fact, he goes on to explain that all too often, we do or say things that have profound impacts on people of which we may be completely unaware.

It’s heartening to me to think this is the right and good thing, after all. You see, I have told people, on more than one occasion that I knew I was meant to do big things, as I shouldn’t actually be here. Considering the circumstances I grew up in, I shouldn’t have been born (or at least the odds of my having been born healthy and “normal” were not in my favor). Many events in my childhood very easily could have been my last. And I’ve done things in my adult life that weren’t brilliant. Based on all these things, I have concluded someone is watching over me and there must be something very important I am here to do; the lesson is that maybe it’s not something big, maybe I’m destined to do small things!

Beginning on page 59, Gungor presents evidence on the improbability of our actually being conceived and born in the first place (255,500,000,000 billion to one – worse odds than the lottery!), not to mention all the odds our ancestors faced—generation after generation—which culminated in any of us being born (this logic is also spelled out in Bill Bryson’s A Short History of Nearly Everything). So, with this kind of logic in mind, it seems clear to me that each of us has a purpose – some important thing we are here to do…and yet, that important thing (or more likely things – plural) may be something small, seemingly unnoticeable by many, but which makes an enormous difference in someone else’s life.

It is heartening to think it’s the right and true thing that each day I have the opportunity to make a difference for someone else. It’s likely my efforts will never earn a front page story or make the Headline News on TV…but to know that in the lives of the people I encounter each day – regardless of my relationship to them – I have the opportunity to be a positive force.

And I’m oh so thankful for the people who have made huge differences in my life over the years, through what may have appeared to be small gestures of kindness or thoughtfulness. The ones who loved and supported me no matter how hugely I blundered. The ones who believed in me when I was unsure of myself. The ones who encouraged me to reach higher and farther than I at first thought I could. The ones who shared their time, attention, and yes, sometimes even money when I needed it. The ones who showed up with some resource I needed, right when I needed it. The ones who connected me with the others I’ve needed to know. The ones who, kindly, redirected me when I was clearly off-track. The ones who have left chocolates on my desk, just because, and made the effort to learn my preference (dark over milk!). The ones who trust me enough to allow me to coach them through the significant changes they are making in their lives.

With this reinforcement, and the knowledge it’s just the right thing to do, I will continue to do those things I believe will add value to others (so if you see me at a drive-thru window – pull in behind me – chances are very good I will pay for your order!) In closing, I encourage you to continue to do those “small” things to help, encourage, and support others. We really have no way of knowing how big the impact just might be.

One last thought…how different do you think the world would be if we took the time to acknowledge those “small” things others have done for us that made a difference?

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Organizational History — Intentional Leadership — W2, Day 4 (M1) — Vision

Posted in Leadership, tagged , , , , , on January 24, 2013| 2 Comments »

It’s Thursday already — Wow! Time for a little reflection.

As you’ve taken some time this week to consider your organization’s history and vision, and to talk with and listen to your employees’ thoughts about the history, its significance, and how it relates to your vision, what did you learn?

Do you see any gaps or inconsistencies?

Did you hear something that left you questioning commitment levels to your organization’s vision?

What could you be doing to encourage higher levels of engagement and commitment among your employees?

How could you help them to see and understand the organization’s vision more clearly?

What do you think it would take for them to take greater ownership?

After you’ve spent some time on these questions and their answers, spend some time considering the vision you have for your team.

Have you articulated it clearly to them?

How committed to it do you think they are?

If you think there’s a gap in their commitment to your vision — either for your organization or your team — keep this in mind: They have to buy-in to you first, before they will buy-in to your vision.

Plainly speaking, have you established yourself as a true leader — are you:

  • Mature — knowing it’s not about you.
  • Intentional — your service to them is thoughtful, not an accident!
  • Consistent — you’ve demonstrated over time that people can count on you and know what to expect from you.

In short, you have demonstrated yourself to be a person of integrity. If you’ve done this, and your vision is intriguing to them, they are all the more likely to commit to helping you achieve it.

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Is it worth it?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , on December 21, 2012| 3 Comments »

Is. It. Worth. It.

Four (well, ok, three with one repeat) small words that are so, so powerful. This short question applies to nearly any decision, transition, or turning point you will encounter in your life. And depending on the decision you make, you have the power to change not only your life but the lives of others around you — for better or worse.

A number of years ago, a friend shared with me a weight loss hypnosis program. The foundation is to be aware of what you are doing each time you take a bite or drink of something, and to make a conscious decision rather than mindlessly eating and drinking whatever is put in front of you.

I ask myself this question when I am tempted to indulge in dessert. For me, if I am going to consume something, it needs to taste as delicious as I expect it to, so that I can deem it worth the calories I am consuming. If not, the answer is clearly no, it’s not worth it; at least not for me.

Last week, I finished reading What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith, a very successful executive coach. There’s a section in the book in which he discusses encouraging his coaching clients to consider whether what they are about to say is worth it. It’s not only executives who could benefit from asking this simple question. The idea is to be aware of the potential impact and consequences of what you are about to say, including the way you would say it, on whomever you are speaking to.

I can think of a number of situations in which this question could prevent a lot of pain. Like when you’ve allowed someone to push your buttons and you are about to respond with a mean, hurtful remark. Like when you are in pain and want someone else to feel it, too. Like when you are already aware of what someone has decided to share with you, and you are tempted to say so — potentially giving the impression of superiority, or diminishing the value of the messenger and what they have to offer. Like when you are upset about something entirely disconnected to the person you’re with and are tempted to take it out on them.

Consider the value of this question when posed with a situation — perhaps an opportunity — that may be questionable. Meaning, it might seem like a good idea unless whatever it is were to become known publicly. In this case, it speaks to integrity (see earlier blog on “who are you when no one is looking”!). Are the risks and consequences worth whatever it is you think you will gain from doing whatever it is you are about to do?

What about when you are offered an opportunity that isn’t exactly on the path you’ve set for yourself? If the “detour” is a brief one, but offers the chance to learn a new skill, gain some new experience, or otherwise provide you with some benefit, and you can smoothly resume your journey, the answer may be yes; it may be worth it. If the “detour” will pull you in a very different direction than the path you’ve set for yourself, and you risk waking up one day in the future wondering “how in the world did I end up here? This isn’t what I wanted…” Well, in this case, it may not be worth it.

It applies when making financial decisions, as well. Do you purchase something simply because it carries a specific logo? Is your purchase decision based on quality? Is it based on the value you perceive the item to have, or based on the value others will perceive it to have?

I won’t pretend to imagine I know every single situation you may encounter when asking yourself this simple, yet oh-so-powerful question might save you — and those around you — some unnecessary pain, anxiety, discomfort, set-back on the way to your goals, but I do know there are numerous possibilities…daily.

The key is to be aware, to consider the potential risks, benefits, and consequences, and make a conscious decision about what to say or do next.

How could you benefit by taking the time to ask and answer this simple question:

Is it worth it?

I’ll leave the consideration to you. In the meantime, I encourage you to have an intentional day!

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Gratitude

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , on November 22, 2012| 1 Comment »

It’s only fitting, on Thanksgiving Day, to write about gratitude.

Thankfulness

On this day, I want to share with you the things I am thankful for:

Having found my passion. The opportunity to live out my passion. The opportunity to do good work and add value to others.

The many gifts and talents bestowed upon me. The “divine appointments” with people who come into my life…it’s always for a reason!

Health. Books. Education. Learning. Growth.

Nice place to live. Reliable car.

People who love me, support me, nurture me, believe in me — both family and friends.

The people who have asked me to accompany them on their journeys (coaching clients).

The people who have invited me to share some of the lessons I’ve learned on communication, leadership, teamwork, influence, relationships, and growth (speaking engagements and workshop clients).

The people who have allowed me to facilitate learning opportunities through Mastermind Groups.

The people who have shared their stories and lessons learned with me, giving me the opportunity to learn from their experiences.

The opportunity to spend this holiday at an indoor water park with my husband and son (who will turn 6 next week) and watching the joy on my son’s face as he played on the slides, in the pools, under the various showers, and float along the “lazy river” in a double tube (he ought to sleep good tonight!). The opportunity to glide through the various enclosed tubes and slides, fast and free, totally exhilarated!

A delicious breakfast this morning — served by people working what would normally be their day-off. A yummy turkey dinner this afternoon.

As I was thinking about what I would write, I Googled “gratitude.” In addition to the usual links (dictionaries, Wikipedia, etc…), I came upon the Go Gratitude Project. I am fascinated by the premise; it makes me think of an earlier awakening I had when I invited all of you to start a movement with me — by asking people what they would want if they could ask for a small miracle — then, of course, doing whatever you could to create the miracle for them.

I have signed up for the Go Gratitude Project’s 42 days of gratitude messages (am assuming the first one will appear in my inbox tomorrow…we’ll see!). There is a link for something called the Master Key Movie which I intend to watch very soon (Charlie Brown’s Thanksgiving Special is on, so I admit to being a little distracted!).

In the meantime, I offer this abridged list of the things I am thankful for on this glorious day.

What are you thankful for? Have you shared your gratitude with those who count?

It’s a powerful act — expressing gratitude.

Finally, I am thankful for you … the people who read what I write, share your thoughts and comments, and pass along my thoughts to others. I may not know you, but I am truly thankful for you.

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Recognizing the need to “show up”

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , , on November 12, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I’ve recently finished reading two memoirs, one by Rob Lowe (Stories I Only Tell My Friends) and one by Andrew McCarthy (The Longest Way Home: One Man’s Quest for the Courage to Settle Down), and actually enjoyed them both very much.

Both shared stories of their personal journeys, and while they phrase it differently, both were (are) striving to become a better version of themselves so they are able to “show up” and really be present for the people they love. As McCarthy put it, it wasn’t just about being able to be physically present with his family – that would be easy enough – but more importantly to be emotionally present, available, vulnerable, and truly connect with his loved ones.

As they both “grew up” in the insanity of Hollywood, it may be easy for us to think we know them as we’ve heard stories about them for years in the media – but I caution you from making that mistake; all is not necessarily what it appears to be on the surface. Yes, they made mistakes. Yes, they drank too much, partied too hard. And yes, thankfully, they recognized there was more to life than that and that their previous behaviors were not going to get them to the places and people they longed for.

Through it all, they proved that everyone has issues, challenges, fears, hopes, dreams, and makes mistakes; the hard stuff in life is not withheld from the wealthy, popular, and privileged. Life is life. People are people. Regardless of our circumstances, we all struggle with something.

…dreams coming true don’t change your feelings.

As Lowe said at one point, I tried to “outrun loneliness, outrun feeling ‘different,’ and outrun the shock that dreams coming true don’t change your feelings.” It reminded me of the saying: “Wherever you go, there YOU are.” Meaning, the grass may seem greener on the other side, but when you go there, you still have all your personal baggage…issues, fears, insecurities…it all goes with you. So the key is to change yourself, and maybe your environment, as well. But changing just your environment won’t bring you to the place you long to be.

Nothing in life is unfair. It’s just life. To the extent that I had any inner turmoil, I had only myself to blame.

At another point, Lowe says, “So, I came to the realization: Nothing in life is unfair. It’s just life. To the extent that I had any inner turmoil, I had only myself to blame.” I like this because it reminds me to take personal responsibility for my circumstances. Stuff happens in life; sometimes good, sometimes bad, and sometimes neutral. What matters is how I choose to approach it and what decisions I make about how I move forward. 

Near the end, Lowe says, “I also thought of my two boys and what kind of example I hoped to be. I would always want them to take charge of their own futures and not be paralyzed by the comfort and certainty of the status quo or be cowed by the judgment of those on the outside looking in.” High hopes for this father of two; but isn’t this what we would all want for our children, our loved ones, ourselves?

I applaud McCarthy and Lowe not only for taking the journey and being open to its lessons, but also for having the courage to bare at least a sliver of their souls to us in telling the stories; through their growth, we can be inspired and perhaps approach our own journeys with some assurance that we are not alone.

As the saying goes, I am striving to never settle for the path of least resistance, as I know that is the road to complacency. Complacency means no growth, and that doesn’t work for me. It’s also about continuing to reach for those things I know in my heart to be true and right for me, which doesn’t always match up with what others think I should be doing. 

What do you need to do to be able to truly “show up” for your life?

What journey are you – or should you be – on?

How will you chronicle your adventures and lessons learned?

Will you share it with others, so they can learn from your experiences?

*Please don’t get the impression I didn’t enjoy McCarthy’s story as much as Lowe’s; I just didn’t take notes as I went through it – I will when I re-read it.

 

 

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