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Posts Tagged ‘Communication’

Time to get your journal out. Take some time today to reflect on the response you received from your intentional act of service yesterday.

How did your action affect your relationship with that person?

How did your self-less action strengthen your family or team?

When you’ve given that some time, reflect on the actions you have taken this month to add value to others, to encourage them in their potential, and to put your team’s agenda in front of your own. What new synergy has been created on your team as a result of your leadership in relationships?

Speaking from personal experience, I can attest to the fact that when I am intentional about doing things for others — when I focus on touching their heart before I ask for a hand — I reap the benefits in many ways. I form deeper, stronger relationships with others, which is far more satisfying – for me, anyway – than shallow interactions. I learn from them. I am better able to to help others because I come to understand who they are and what they need. And I have to say, I love doing the acts of kindness.

Sometimes it’s a stretch trying to tailor an act to someone specific — to do something for them that they will actually appreciate, rather than giving them something I think they should have. For example, last night, I brought home a bag of Jelly Belly’s for my husband — I know he loves them! Quick, simple, results in a smile.

What has your experience been?

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Let’s focus on ourselves today. Take some time today to answer these questions:

Describe a time when you heard the ideas of others and valued them.

Describe a situation in which you were willing to sacrifice your self-interest for the good of the group.

Describe what is going on in the lives of your colleagues.

How are you helping develop and grow those who work with you?

Are your employees coming to you and letting you know what is affecting them so you can help?

Each of these questions describes humility-based leadership. Based on your answers, how do you rate as a humble leader?

Remember: You will get out of these exercises what you put in.

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As we begin week four of our focus on Relationships, we will shift gears a bit and bring it all together.

In January 2012, I was responsible for leading a team of people planning a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a significant investment (major equipment overhaul) at a manufacturing company. This event was open to all employees (nearly 1000 people); Union officials; local, regional, and state officials and dignitaries; media; and company executives. Immediately following the ceremony, we also planned an Open House for employees and retirees, allowing each to bring a guest.

Both events required safety orientations, distribution of personal protective equipment, and designated escorts for anyone entering the plant. The Open House also involved refreshments, commemorative give-aways, coordinated plant tours, and, again, media coverage. While the Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony saw about 200 people in attendance, including employees and guests, the Open House saw nearly 1000 people over the course of the afternoon.

As you can imagine, these events required a lot of planning — over the course of a few months — and the hard work and dedication of numerous individuals and departments. It was a monumental effort. And it came off nearly perfectly! We had administrative, communications and marketing, operations, purchasing, supply chain, safety, quality, and human resources support. Each person on this team offered a different kind of expertise and brought different perspectives to the planning and implementation process. Each had a clearly defined role and responsibilities. We met weekly to plan, and communicated between meetings.

On the day of the big events, everything went pretty well. I won’t say the execution was flawless, but nearly so. And the things that didn’t go exactly as planned were not significant enough to make a difference. When the few things occurred that we hadn’t prepared for, people came together to adapt and move forward. All in all, a huge success.

That’s one example. Let’s look, very briefly, at another example of team work. On D-Day, during WWII, the Allied invasion of Normandy required intense coordination between Army, Navy, and Air Force troops. This, too, required a well-thought out plan, clear and frequent communication, each organization and person tasked with clear roles and responsibilities.

This is a shining example of the interdependence between leadership and relationships. The more influential the leader, the more he or she relies on the relationships within the team to maximize production and likelihood of success, whatever the mission. The best leaders don’t go in alone; they realize their success depends on the support and skill of those they work alongside.

Take some time, now, to consider a similar situation in which you were involved. With teams, there are shared goals that must take precedence over individual goals if the effort is to succeed. Think about someone who failed to sacrifice their personal agenda for the good of the team. What was the outcome? What did you learn from the experience?

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I fully understand the fact that there is exactly the same amount of time in each day and each week, but this week truly seems to have flown past. This time last week, I was in Orlando with the John Maxwell Team, in a coaching triad (one coach, one participant, one observer) practicing the art of coaching…and it seems like it was just yesterday!

Hard to believe it’s time to prepare for the weekend, again, already!

I don’t know about you, but thinking about the weekends in this way has made a difference for me. I still have work to do in terms of being truly intentional about how I spend my weekends, but this practice is changing the way I think about, prepare for, and spend my time Friday evening through Monday morning.

What relationships do you need to nurture this weekend?

Are there new relationships you would like to initiate?

What do you need to do to focus on and nurture yourself this weekend?

How much rest do you need this weekend?

How much – and what kind of – activity do you need?

What loose ends do you need to tie up from this week?

What do you need to do to prepare yourself for a great start to next week, preparing for Monday?

Finally, what thought are you giving to things you have planned or need to prepare for or complete in the coming months?

On Monday, we begin week four of month two —  focus on Relationships.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you on Monday!

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Today is reflection day, so get you ready! Find your journal, pick out your favorite pen — you know the one, it fits your hand just so, and has the exact right size tip (micro fine for me, thank you!), and writes in your favorite color. Ready?

Spend sometime journaling about your experience from yesterday:

What action step did you choose to try? Or were you brave and tried more than one?

Which one(s) did you choose?

Was it easy or challenging?

What did you learn about yourself?

What did you notice about the other person’s reaction?

What will you do differently in the future?

What have you learned this week, with respect to putting aside your agenda in favor of that of your team?

How can you promote “We before Me” with your team going forward?

Map out some specific action steps and timelines you can follow, so you don’t lose what you’ve learned this week.

Remember: Application is the key to bridging the “knowing – doing” gap.

Have an intentional day!

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As we think more about team work this week, let’s spend some time exploring a few questions to clarify how well you contribute to a team.

Ask yourself these questions, and be honest; you’re the one who will benefit from the clarity your answers can bring.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Do I see to understand the situation before sharing my opinion?

When conflict arises, do I see out resolution with that person?

How well do I celebrate others before seeking the applause from others?

Am I willing to ask for help from others?

Is the team goal more important than my goals?

The answers to these questions can be quite revealing in terms of areas of opportunity, if you truly desire to be more effective in building relationships and developing strong, high-performing teams.

When I was younger, I was very much task-focused; I had learned from an early age to be very self-sufficient and to do as many things as possible by myself. I struggled with being willing to trust others, and didn’t give them the opportunity to help me … or even to disappoint me! I eventually reached a point in my career when I learned that it wasn’t a strategy for success.

I finally understood I would be successful only if I could form relationships, which would allow me to be much more productive and effective than I could ever be on my own. So, I learned to connect with people and build long-lasting relationships, with trust as the foundation. That’s not to say I get along swimmingly well with everyone I meet, but I am much more intentional about how I approach relationships. I am now living proof there is value in it.

I encourage you to really consider how better relationships can help you achieve more.

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I was in Orlando, Florida, last week for a John Maxwell Training. When I flew home on Saturday, I observed a situation in the airport that really disturbed me.

There was a very upset woman, probably around 40, with two young boys, maybe 4 and 6 years old. She was speaking very loudly to an airline employee, who was notably cool, calm, and collected. Of course, I can only speculate on what was going on, but based on the few things I heard and my observation of their interaction, it appeared she had missed her flight.

She was very loud and adamantly declaring that it wasn’t her fault, something about being told that she needed to be there 20 minutes ahead…The airline employee said something to her, too quiet to hear (I was ~10 feet away, standing in line to check my bag). She got even louder, telling him she didn’t need him to argue with her and make her feel like a seven-year-old, that she needed him to help him. She had tears running down her face, and was quite visibly agitated.

All the while, these two little boys standing there watching the whole thing…looking a little lost and frightened. As the mom walked a few feet away, the older boy went and wrapped himself around her waist, hugging and comforting her, telling her it would be all right. The younger boy joined them, but stood off to the side watching.

I had two very loud thoughts in my mind as I watched this scene play itself out. First, she had absolutely no concept of the lesson she was teaching her boys about how one deals with stress, the unexpected, and the people who are trying to help you. Second, was that she has an incredibly strong belief that she behaves like a seven-year-old, projecting that onto the airline employee who was trying to help her. Suddenly, I saw not a grown woman standing there, but a frightened, frustrated little girl, facing a situation she was not equipped to deal with.

My heart went out to her and her boys.

I hope they made their way home safely.

What lessons are you teaching?

I encourage you to be thoughtful and intentional about them…

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Week three’s focus is: We before me.

There are lots of stories we could discuss to really focus on teamwork and how critical it is to success. One story you might be familiar with is Remember the Titans, based on a true story.

It’s about a High School football team in the ’70’s, where the white football coach was forced to resign due to a controversial mandate from the school board; he was replaced by a black football coach. This decision created significant tension and polarized the community. The new coach was pressured to resign, but rather than capitulating to the pressure, he reached out to the one person who could help him salvage the Titan’s season — the former coach.

Together, the two men formed a relationship based on respect, and they worked together to break down the racial issues within the team. They took the team off-site for pre-season camp, and assigned each player to room with a teammate from the other race, setting the expectation each would learn three personal facts from his roommate.

The intent was clear — there would be no segregation within the team; each player must commit to each other and the success of the team. Of course, it wasn’t an immediate or smooth transition. There were rough moments, but over time the players developed friendships and the coaches were able to create a culture of unity. As the relationships strengthened, the team overcame all obstacles and won the State Championship.

I’ve been able to work with a number of teams, and I always begin with relationship building. A group of people will not just become a team, simply because they are tasked with working together. Real teams come together due to intentional team building. First, the members must get to know each other, beyond a superficial level. This allows members to identify common ground, which opens the door to the development of trust. This is the foundation of all healthy relationships.

As with the Titans, and the teams with whom I’ve worked, each of us has the opportunity to commit to contribute to something bigger than themselves. When you have the opportunity to work with others, do you put aside your personal agenda for the greater good?

Of course, you don’t have to focus on the team agenda. It’s a choice, to be sure. What I can tell you, based on my experience, is that a high-performing team is able to achieve things significantly more substantive than any of the individuals alone. What I can tell you, based on my experience, is “no one of us is as smart as all of us.”

Take some time today to think about the most difficult working relationship or team dynamic you have experienced. What made it hard? How did you handle the relationships? What did you learn? How will you approach similar situations differently in the future?

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What did you learn from yesterday’s exercise?

What will you do differently, to truly connect and build relationships with the people in your life?

Today, let’s switch gears a bit. One of my mentors often says, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” The point being, we can’t really see our full potential, but others can.

Which means you can see potential in others that they may not see in themselves. Spend some time today thinking about someone you see potential in, who may not be aware.

What might happen if you told them what you see in them? Is there a reason you wouldn’t share your insight with them?

Is there an opportunity you can give them that will allow them to cultivate that potential?

This is important stuff, so I encourage you to be thoughtful in the process, and then go ahead, have the conversation…you may just change someone’s life.

Sent from my iPad

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Today, we give some thought to what is true about ourselves.

Think of someone you know well and have a solid relationship with, or whom you consider to have built strong relationships with others. What are three key actions you’ve seen this person take to value and invest in others?

1.

2.

3.

What are three actions you take that are natural and easy ways to build relationships with?

1.

2.

3.

I know a woman who is very good at this, and am blessed to know she is truly my friend. She takes a genuine interest in people, understands the power of really listening to a person, and demonstrates her commitment to the relationship by making the effort to stay connected and engage in meaningful conversations with the people who are important in her life.

It’s a relationship I value and one that reminds me how important it is to not take people for granted.

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