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Posts Tagged ‘Consequences’

What’s going on in your life and/or work right now that you know you need to deal with, but your actions might be interpreted as preferring to ignore reality?

Get your journal out and briefly describe the situation and the challenge you face.

Dig deep and come to terms with why you don’t want to address the issue…Write it out.

Describe what could happen if you address the issue.

What impact might it have on your life? The lives of those around you? Your team? Your Organization?

Describe what can happen if you choose to not address the issue.

What are the risks, implications, consequences of not acting?

What action steps can you take in order to bring resolution to this challenge?

What would happen in your life if you consistently made choices to address issues like this?

How would that affect your attitude when you face similar situations/challenges in the future?

For me, there’s a level of satisfaction in addressing the things I don’t want to address but know that I need to. I don’t mean to confuse this with pleasure — as it isn’t necessarily fun, but there is satisfaction in tackling the hard and sometimes unpleasant stuff.

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If you’ve been in any kind of leadership role, and I suspect you have — or aspire to, since you’re reading this blog — you know what it feels like to be doubted, assaulted, ridiculed. You’ve likely faced embarrassing moments, ridicule…had your decisions and judgment questioned by others.

The question is, how do you respond? And, I do me an”respond” — meaning thoughtfully, intentionally choosing what you will do or say, rather than reacting, which is immediate, emotional, and usually thoughtless. The point is, you get to choose your attitude during these trying times.

Consider one who has gone before us…

President Truman faced his share of doubt, rejection, and failure…let’s consider his story for a few moments:

When he first proposed to his girlfriend, Bess, Wallace, she rejected him. He pursued her, anyway, and eight years later they married.

He was rejected when he tried to join the Army because his eyesight was poor. Refusing to be kept from serving his country, he memorized the eye chart so he could pass the test! He later won distinction for courageous leadership in battle.

After WWI, his business failed. He moved into a career in public service, as a judge and later was elected to the US Senate.

Although he was considered unfit to be a US President, he successfully led us through the end of WWI; he is now regarded as one of the greatest presidents!

Expected to lose the 1948 election, newspaper printed that his opponent, Thomas Dewey, had won! Imagined Truman’s delight in their misprint the next morning!

If you stay the course, and I hope you do, you will go through these trying times, over and over. You will have to filter and choose the messages you will listen to and the stories you believe. You will have the opportunity, several times a day, to choose your attitude. I hope you choose well.

Spend some time in reflection today: How do you deal with assaults on your attitude?

Describe a time when you felt as if your attitude was under attack. How did you respond?

What did you learn?

What would you do differently today, as a result?

How can your choices influence your attitude?

How can your attitude influence your choices?

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Today, let’s spend some time in visualization. Give some thought to where your life will be in one month, three months, six months, and one year, if you follow through on the actions you outlined yesterday. How will others be impacted if you choose a positive attitude rather than a negative one? Write out your thoughts, connected with specific people.

One Month

Three Months

Six Months

One Year

Remember, this is a journey and a process. Don’t set yourself up for frustration with the expectation you must be perfect and respond perfectly to the events that happen in your life. The idea is to experience the experiences, feel the feelings, and make a choice in how you will respond and move forward. My yoga mentor, Diamond Dallas Page, advises us to “live life at 90%,” meaning that 10% is what happens to us in life and 90% is how we choose to deal with it. He focuses on the 90% and strives to make the most and best of that…essentially, choosing one’s attitude.

What will you choose?

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Over the course of your life, you will experience a variety of things that will have the power to influence your outlook in both positive and negative ways. As I suggested last week, as we started this month-long focus on attitude, each of us gets to choose how we interpret and react or respond to each of those events.

When I was in high school, I was active in student government, wrote for and eventually became editor of the school newspaper, and was very active in planning school events, like homecoming week. We also had a program called Jr. Miss. This was a national program, and while it might appear to be a pageant program, it is based on scholarship, personality, and talent — not on beauty, and there was no swimsuit competition!  Girls were invited to participate in the program during their Junior year of high school; the winner would spend the year representing her community at other pageants, in parades, county fairs, local events, at a variety of speaking engagements, and competing at the state level pageant (the winner of which would compete at the national competition that was held, at that time, in Mobile, Alabama).

My perspective on Jr. Miss was that it was something the popular, wealthy girls won. I had my share of friends, to be sure, and was included in a lot of things, but was never in the “in” crowd, and certainly was not from a wealthy family. But, when I received the invitation to get involved, I said, “What the heck! This looks like fun!” Of course, I never expected to win.

In fact, at the time, I was also running for student body president for my senior year of school. That was truly where my attention and energy was focused. And for a while, I was the front runner. My opponent was a girl who rubbed a lot of students the wrong way. Part way through the campaign, she switched places with the person who would have been VP, had she won, and he was much more liked by most of the school.  So, with him in the President position, and her in the VP position, the vote was much closer, and I lost by a few votes.

I was crushed! I really wanted the position. And yet, the Jr. Miss pageant process was still on-going. Because I was participating in this on a lark, as they say, you can imagine my surprise — and delight — when I actually won the Jr. Miss position!  Remember, it wasn’t what I most wanted, but I determined to make the best of it.  I choose my attitude, deciding to learn what I could, represent my community well, and sharpen some skills that I knew would serve me well later in life.

It offered me the opportunity to travel around certain regions in my state, visiting with a lot of people I never would have been in contact with in other circumstances: Community leaders, local legislators, other students, and people younger than me. I had the opportunity to speak at fairs, other pageants, in front of civic organizations, at schools, parades, and at community events. I was able to influence other young girls who were interested in growing and taking on bigger challenges. And I received scholarship funding for college, and who wouldn’t be thankful for that?!

All of these skills and experiences have served me well ever since. And I’m thankful for having had the opportunity to participate, and for all of the opportunities I’ve had since then. Had I chosen to wallow in self-pity over my defeat during the student body elections, I would have stunted my growth, at least for a while. I could have become angry, bitter, etc…I’m so thankful I didn’t.

What experiences have you had that have influenced your life and your attitude? Write them down.

Outline whether they were negative or positive and what you did or didn’t do as a result?

What gratitude do you have, or what regrets do you carry, as a result?

How do these experiences influence who you are today?

Whom are you influencing with your attitude and how you respond to the events in your life, both good and bad?

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Eleven years ago, I went through a life-changing leadership training process. During the course of that journey, we studied the Fish! Philosophy, based on how the fishmongers at the Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle, WA, approach their work. Essentially, there are four things these men are focused on as they approach their work, and really their daily lives, and one of them is this: Choose Your Attitude!

It really made an impression on me, because truly it is a choice. We have no control over what life will throw at us, what others will do or say to us. All we have control over is how we choose to react or respond. We can choose what our attitude will be about what happens to us. And frankly, if we don’t choose, we put ourselves in the victim mode. I don’t know about you, but I’m not cut out for that. Yes, I do have my less-than-stellar moments of frustration, impatience, etc…but I typically recover pretty quickly and move on to problem-solving so I can move forward.

Olympic Gold Medalist, Scott Hamilton, said, “The only disability in life is a bad attitude.” Well put, I say!

No matter what happens to each of us in our lives, the best way to create the kind of life and success we desire is to commit to having a positive attitude. When you do this, you don’t waste your time and energy complaining or wishing things were different. You recognize you are the captain of your ship, and have the power to navigate your course. This allows you to focus your energy on creating more of what you do want, and moving farther away from what you don’t want.

As you do this, you become the kind of leader that attracts others. Think about it: Whom do you want to spend a lot of time with — someone with a positive, up-beat attitude, or with someone who has an negative attitude?

Think about your attitude,  and ask yourself this: Is my attitude an asset or a liability? Will it allow me to propel myself forward into living the life I desire, or will it hold me back? Will it attract other like-minded, talented, creative people to me, or will it attract those who are focused on doom and gloom?

How important has your attitude been to your success in life so far?

What do you allow to influence your attitude — both in positive and negative ways?

What kinds of choices can you make each day to maintain a positive attitude?

How has your attitude made a difference in your role as a leader?

Tomorrow, we will begin our four-week journey focused on Attitude. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the subject.

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Dear Faithful readers: Please forgive me for missing my usual blog post on Friday, which would have been D5 of W4, of this 8th month of our Intentional Leadership journey, focused on change. Something that one couldn’t have anticipated happened early Friday morning that demanded my attention and kept me otherwise fully engaged all day. I apologize for missing a step in our process.

However, I’m confident that by now, at the end of our 8th month on this journey, that you are in the swing of our Friday routine and would likely be on track with taking  a proactive approach to planning your weekend, without my weekly reminder.

My Friday was supposed to be spent immersed in a full-day off-site team-building and vision-defining meeting. Again, something unexpected happened to derail that plan. Saturday required some follow-up to the Friday events, and some quality time, alone, with my husband. It was delightful!

Today, I spent some time with my son and mother-in-law at the WV State Honey Festival! Now, I am catching up with you and preparing for the week ahead. I will be traveling, again (have had a lot of opportunities to travel these past six weeks) this week, to The Greenbrier Resort for the WV State Chamber of Commerce Annual Meeting and Business Summit. This is a great event each year, as it allows me to catch up with friends and associates from around the state whom I don’t have the opportunity to see very often, and to meet new people I’m not yet aware of. It will be a time of reminiscing, learning, and divine appointments. Have to say, I had some amazing meetings, conversations, and connections with a few folks last year; I trust this year will be just as rewarding.

I also need to prepare for this week’s Empowerment Mentoring lesson on Comfort Zone — and how being in our comfort zone isn’t always a good thing.

I hope you don’t mind my taking this space to do my usual month-end wrap-up on Change.

As I’m sure you’re aware, the only constant in today’s world is change; it is an unavoidable reality of life. As a leader, we must take responsibility for anticipating change, understanding its implications, and guiding our people through it. This requires a blend of qualities and skills…bravery, flexibility, determination, casting a clear vision, providing frequent communication, and consistent behavior.

As you know — and maybe you feel this way, as well — many people abhor change, would rather go through all kinds of other unpleasantries, or even give up on their potential to avoid it. You will be tested in this arena, needing to put forth all of your abilities and talents to overcome the resistance of the status quo. This can be a grueling, thankless journey, but if you are driven to be a leader, it’s the path you have chosen.

Change and growth go hand-in-hand. If you aren’t growing, you aren’t going anywhere. If you stay the same, you will become stagnant, and we all know, nothing grows in stagnant pools.

I encourage you to embrace change. Plunge forward with courage. Help others see the possibilities in the future, through the path of change. Remember, if you are going through change and you have some level of confusion, it’s a good thing! Yes, a good thing. If you are going through change and you aren’t confused, it means you already know what you need to or have given up trying to understand it. If you are confused, it means you are going through a growth process.

Embrace change! If you don’t, won’t, or can’t…give up on leadership — you can’t lead if you can’t navigate change.

Now, having said that, I trust that since you’ve made it through this 8th month of our journey so far, you won’t give in to complacency. So, I’ll “see” you on Monday, as we move into our 9th month, focused on Attitude.

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As we come to the end of this month focused on Change, spend some time reflecting on your past…what is your history when dealing with change?

Write down two of the biggest changes in your life. Spend some time with your journal, exploring how you recognized the need for change, how you handled it, what lessons you learned, and what you would do differently if you had the opportunity to do it over.

What can you learn from these previous experiences that will allow you to recognize the need for change sooner, and navigate your way through change more smoothly in the future.

Remember, experience is NOT the best teacher! In fact, experience alone will not teach you anything. The wisdom is gained by reflecting on our experiences, so we can glean some lessons and apply them to other situations in the future.

Courage doesn’t always ROAR! Sometimes, courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try, again, tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher

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What is the change you need to bring to your team or organization?

What would the benefit be, if you can bring your vision to fruition?

Is it worth the work, investment, and sacrifice?

Spend some time with your team, or appropriate peers, today to cast your vision about the change and get their feedback. Be open to responding to questions, hearing their input, and be willing to fine-tune your vision based on what you receive. Together, create a strategy and implementation plan for moving forward.

Remember, casting a vision is big stuff, and getting all your peers / teammates on the same page may take some time and effort, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t get through it all in one meeting. But, if you don’t start today, when will you?

Write it out:

What change would you like to make?

How will it benefit your team/organization?

What steps do you think you need to make to implement your plan?

Schedule meetings with the people who will be affected and begin to communicate and promote the change. Be sure to let them know what role they will play, and how important they are to the success of your endeavor.

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More journal time, today! Spend some time thinking, and writing, about the pitfalls of resisting change or the effects of being so confident in your strengths that you fail to adapt to change (remember Marshall Goldsmith’s What Got You Here Won’t Get You There!).

I believe it was Peter Drucker who suggested that the only way to manage change successfully was to create it. Essentially, we are more likely to have better outcomes when we are the ones instigating and driving the change.

Based on your experience, do you agree or disagree with this thought?

Why?

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What is it about change that so many of us find so stressful? What if we could look at it in a new way? What if we could think of change as an opportunity? An opportunity to exercise and expand our creativity? An opportunity to learn and grow…to become more than we are today? What if we could embrace the unknown, rather than face it with fear?

Think about the things that have changed in the last 5, 10, or even 20 years of your life.

My husband just bought a new Blu-Ray DVD player (we’re not always early adopters!), replacing the DVD player we’ve been using the past 10 years. This made me think back to when I was in college and the first couple of years after school, when we would rent VCRs from the video store to watch movies on the weekend. I remember being assessed a 50 cent fee for not rewinding movies, on occasion, before we returned them…and how some people even bought VHS tape re-winders, in addition to the VCR, just to do this faster!

In looking back through photos recently, it occurs to me that while we still have one camera that actually requires film, we haven’t used it for nearly 10 years. I’m not confident I would know where to buy film for it now!

I could go on with additional examples, and I’m sure you have your own list of all the things that used to be “the” thing you had to have, which are now collecting dust in the attic, the basement, the local thrift and antique stores…things change. Time goes on. We have to adapt or be left behind.

As a leader, we must change; we cannot rest on our laurels.

I’m reading several books right now (I don’t have them all with me right now, so plears forgive me for giving you the exact reference for this), and in one of them there is the story of a company that manufactured horse whips – back in the time of horse-drawn carriages. The company was totally focused on making the absolute best whips available; and they were successful. The problem was, this was the time when automobiles were becoming more popular and available, and fewer people we traveling in horse-drawn carriages. Hence, the need for horse whips decreased dramatically. The manufacturer was caught unaware, and his business failed.

He wasn’t paying attention to what was going on in the market around him and he missed the winds of change. The result for him and his employees was life-changing and not in a good way.

Today, spend some time reflecting on your attitude toward change. In what ways are you anticipating a future that is different from today’s reality?

What do you need to be doing to prepare for that change, so you don’t miss the boat (so to speak) and end up with the VCR re-winder and the horse whip manufacturer?

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