I’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now. Originally, my thought was “are you hitchhiking through your life?” But as I thought about hitchhiking, it didn’t make as much sense.
You see, hitchhikers often have a specific destination in mind, as they step out onto the road and stick out their thumbs, or hold up their sign about where they want to go. And they accept rides with folks, usually headed in the same direction…getting at least a few miles closer to their chosen destination. But, truly, they are pretty much at the mercy (in more ways than one) of whomever’s car/truck they climb into when they accept a ride. Meaning, they may get closer to where they want to go, or they may just get farther away from where they want to get away from…and may simply end up wherever the driver happens to be heading.
What spurred this line of thinking was a number of conversations with people in recent weeks — some of whom I work with in coaching or mentoring relationships — about where they are headed in their careers. One conversation with a young woman about 3 weeks ago, really brought this idea into the front of my thinking. I worked with her, planning an event, and asked her how long she thought she would stay in event planning. (As an aside, if you’ve never been in this line of work, it’s very stressful — being responsible for a lot of details to pull events together, when often times you have little to no control over many of the pieces required for your event to be a success. And event planners often do not allow themselves to actually enjoy the event they have exchanged so much of their life energy to plan!)
She shared some thoughts on things going on in the organization she works with, and hopes to have the opportunity to move up, as her manager will be retiring in the next 12-18 months. She talked about her education and previous work experience and then said the thing that raised my alarms!
She said, there might be some opportunities in other departments of her organization, but that she would probably wait to see what the others above her thought she would be good at and what positions they might consider her for.
I said that was well and good, but wondered what she thought she was good at and what she was interested in…what was she striving to accomplish in her career? She seemed surprised by the question and it was obvious she’d not given it any thought, but said she probably should think about it.
I’m not sure why this particular conversation struck me so, as I have similar conversations with many people at a frighteningly frequent rate. I’m astonished by the people who give very little thought to what they want to do in life and are so willing to just go along for the ride, allowing someone else to define who they are, what they are good at, and what they should be doing with their time and life energy!
So, my question to you this evening is this: Are you the driver and navigator on your life’s journey, or are you just going along for the ride?
If you aren’t clear about what you long to do, are called to do, are passionate about doing, find satisfaction in doing…someone else will plan your life for you, but he’s the scary part: What they plan for you will be more focused on meeting their needs, not yours, and while you may be capable of doing certain things, and may even be quite good at doing them…they may leave you feeling empty, dissatisfied…Just because you “can” doesn’t always mean you “should.”
Clearly, the choice is yours. I encourage you to make this decision thoughtfully and intentionally. The answer is really the difference between choosing to be a victim or victorious, choosing to live your passion or just passing time helping someone else live theirs.
I look forward to hearing what you decide.
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