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Posts Tagged ‘Life Plan’

Creating alignment and harmony

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , , on December 5, 2012| Leave a Comment »

When you  consider your life, what do you see? How do you feel?

Earlier, we discussed how every thing is made of energy, and as such has a vibration, a frequency. When your words, actions, thoughts, and beliefs are in alignment, your vibration is in alignment with the rest of your life. When they are not, your vibration is not on the same frequency. You’ve heard the saying, “I got a bad vibe from that…” Well, the speaker may have thought he or she was speaking figuratively, but in fact, was speaking truth about the true state of the environment.

So, how do you get back in alignment and create harmony in your life when you feel “bad vibes”? The answer is simple but the solution may not necessarily be easy.

Harmony requires alignment with values, beliefs, thoughts, actions, and words. For example, if you say you desire a healthier lifestyle, what will we discover when we examine your life?

What’s in your refrigerator and pantry? Will we find healthy food and beverage choices?

How do you spend your free time? Exercising? Surfing the net? Watching TV?

With whom do you spend your time? People who share your desire for health and demonstrate that belief through activity and eating habits? Or with people who encourage you to eat the kinds of foods and spend time doing the kinds of things that do not result in a healthy lifestyle?

Nearly a year ago, I traveled to Florida for training. I chatted with the car service driver who drove me to the airport to return home. I asked him how he liked his job. He said it was good, offered him some flexibility. I asked him if he carried a book with him, for something to do between runs. He said no, with some enthusiasm; he lived nearby and was able to run home between calls. I asked what he did at home. I spend a lot of time on Facebook. I asked what he was doing on Facebook. He said he was reading about all the drama between his family and friends. I asked if he intended to drive people around indefinitely. Oh no, he said. He went on to explain that he wants to own his own business so he could be the boss and have flexibility to work when he wanted. I asked what kind of business. A car wash or maybe a gas station / convenience store would be nice, he thought. Then I asked the question that killed the conversation.

How will spending all your free time on Facebook, reading about the drama between your family members and friends, help you reach your goal of owning your own business?

The car was silent until we reached the airport, he removed my bags, I gave him a tip, and he said “Thank you” and drove away.

Please don’t read anything into my comment about Facebook. I use it for my business. I believe there are a lot of ways it can be useful. But, if one is spending all his / her time reading and posting family life and activity status updates, it seems unlikely to me that that behavior will help achieve the goal of owning a business.

The point here is this: His behaviors and words were not in alignment with his stated goal. I was disappointed that my simple inquiry killed the conversation. I hope I made him think.

If you think about it, this line of thinking can be applied to any aspect of your life, any goal, stated desire, any thing you want to achieve. Just take the time to reflect on your desires and what’s currently happening in your life. If you are in alignment, I applaud you. If your vibes feel wrong, and the feeling is uncomfortable enough that you are ready to do something about it, you might consider working with a skilled coach who can help you explore the disconnects and put together an achievable plan to reach your goals and change your circumstances.

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The brush of a feather…or a 2 x 4?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , , , on December 2, 2012| 1 Comment »

I am blessed to be mentored by Paul Martinelli, President of the John Maxwell Team. This last week he offered a lesson on coming to a place of harmony in one’s life.

If we understand that every thing is made from energy and every thing has a vibration, a frequency, this lesson will be easier to grasp.

If you are in a place in your life where all is as it should be, and you are in harmony, your frequency will be in sync with every thing around you. If you are not in harmony, then your vibration will be out of sync with every thing around you and you will begin to experience discomfort. Think of it as static — mixed signals making a lot of annoying, distracting noise — similar to what you might experience with a radio station from time-to-time.

Typically, it’s while you are in this state that you may feel the whisper-light brush of a feather on your cheek…and it may be nudging you in a new direction.

If you are self-aware enough to feel the brush of the feather and recognize it for what it is, you may allow yourself to move in that new direction- recognizing that it is time for you to make a change in some aspect of your life. If you don’t, the feather will continue its efforts to capture your attention and nudge you in the new direction, and it will become stronger, and stronger, and stronger, until it becomes a 2 x 4…and if you ignore the 2 x 4, it will soon feel as if you have been hit with a ton of bricks!

The message: It’s time for a change!

It’s time for a change!

I have experienced this on numerous occasions in my life, and if you look at my work history (or my sister’s address book entries for me!) you will begin to get the picture. I am not a maintainer; I am a concept developer, a starter, a “get it rolling and let someone else take over to handle the details and deal with the closure, while I move on to the next thing…” person. I love the challenge of change and the opportunity it provides for me to learn, grow, stretch, and discover.

As a result, in my professional life, once I feel I have mastered my responsibilities, I seek new ones. If it happened that I could do that with the same employer, life was good. If it happened that the opportunity wasn’t there, it was time to move on. For example, one of my jobs involved handling employee communication, media relations, grower communication (like stock holders), community relations, and managing a company store. As such, I was responsible for monthly and quarterly newsletters, for supporting a variety of community organizations — including attending a series of special events held at the same time each year, and a number of other tasks that quickly became routine. Once I felt I had mastered those routine tasks, and needed something new to keep my interest, I got involved with some HR initiatives to develop a high-performing organization. I took responsibility for leading the company’s Corporate Social Responsibility efforts.

When I discussed my career aspirations with the CEO, he said I could get involved in anything I wanted and take on any new responsibilities I was interested in, but he didn’t foresee the company hiring someone new to take on some of my “routine” duties. So, I could grow my position as much as I wanted, but I would not be able to shed any responsibilities. My response: If this “role/job/title” is all I will ever be here, then I’m in the wrong place, because I know I am destined to do more, to be more…It was time to leave. So, I did. It was a heart-wrenching decision, as this was the healthiest company I had ever worked for (and still holds that distinction), with people I enjoyed working with and learning from.

I have had this experience several times over the course of my career (20+ years). It’s not that the companies I’ve worked for were necessarily bad, or that the jobs I’ve held were bad…I simply outgrew them.

Looking back on that particular experience, I believe I recognized the brush of the feather fairly early. I branched out, took on new things, learned new skills, worked   on key initiatives not in my primary area of responsibility, and still I needed more. I needed to be able to let go of some things, so I could continue to take on the new things, continue to learn, grow, and be challenged. When I discovered it was not to be, at least not there, perhaps that was when the 2 x 4 hit me! It certainly resulted in significant changes in my life: Sold my house, moved to a new area, started a new job with a new challenge…

This message was very timely for me, as I am currently in that place again. I have one foot in one world and one foot in another world, one that I recognize as my true purpose, passion, reason for being here…this world I know is my future. I have some work to do to make the transition complete but I’ve followed the feather and am adjusting my course. I see all new road signs on this path, and they are directing me to my rightful place.

I am thankful for the experiences, the people who have guided me along the way, and the opportunities that are opening up for me.

What about you? Are you uncomfortable? Out-of-sync with people and/or circumstances in your life? Do you feel the static? Do you have one foot in one world and one foot in another? Or have you not taken the step because you are fearful?

Have you felt the feather brush your cheek? Or have you been hit by a 2 x 4?

Try being still…just breathe and listen…

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The architect of your success

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , on October 10, 2012| 1 Comment »

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to Christian Simpson, the Coaching Mentor for the John Maxwell Team, and he said something so profound I wrote it down. 

He said: The architect of your success is not your intellect; it is, in fact, your belief system.

The architect of your success is not your intellect; it is, in fact, your belief system.

In essence, he is saying it doesn’t matter how smart you are; being smart will not guarantee your success. The key is what you believe about yourself and your abilities. 

I grew up in what I believe is actually a pretty normal family (defining “normal” as some level of obvious dysfunction, which I think most of us have; as I don’t believe the “Leave it to Beaver” or “Ozzie and Harriet” families were real…). Because of my circumstances, I learned, very early, to be independent and self-sufficient. This has served me well in many situations, and has been detrimental in others. However, because of – or in spite of – those circumstances, I also grew up with what turns out to be a pretty strong belief in my ability to succeed at whatever I set my mind to.

I can remember the first time I verbalized this to someone, during a job interview more than 20 years ago. I said, “Unless you ask me to do brain surgery or something akin to nuclear physics, it doesn’t occur to me that I might not be successful. I am self-aware enough to recognize what I don’t know, which means when faced with a challenge I realize I will likely need to learn some new things along the way, pick up some new skills, find some new resources, perhaps meet some new people…but I’m confident I can succeed.”

And when given the opportunity and the challenge, I have set forth to do just that, acquiring the knowledge and resources I’ve needed along the way. And when I’ve made certain decisions in my life, I didn’t have a Plan B to fall back on, just in case. Perhaps it was fool-hardy, but I was determined to reach my goal.

This is not to say I haven’t failed, for surely I have, and plenty of times…in minor ways and in major, life-changing ways. On those occasions, I have taken the time to reflect on my actions and experiences, so that I may carry the lessons forward, and hopefully not make the same mistakes twice.

I’ve just started facilitating a Mastermind Group using John Maxwell’s newest book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. The group was blessed, on October 2, with John himself teaching the first two chapters. Last night, I facilitated the Chapter 3 lesson: The Law of the Mirror.

Simply put, the law says, “You must see value in yourself to add value to yourself.” John goes on to explain that the value we place on ourselves is usually the value others will place on us; the world isn’t likely to up your price tag.

The lesson: What you believe about yourself will determine your future success. How you talk to yourself makes an enormous difference. So nurture the voice in your head that is supportive, encouraging, and confident in you. Let the other voice know you really don’t have time for it these days; it will eventually get the message and quiet down.

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right

When Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right,” he hit the nail on the head.   

What do you believe about yourself? And how is that belief propelling you forward or holding you back?

 

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Would you like to press the “undo” button on your life?

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , on September 24, 2012| Leave a Comment »

In 2011, I participated in the Leadership West Virginia program. It was a tremendously valuable experience for me in more ways than I could recount quickly. One of the more memorable experiences was part of a service project my class decided to take on. We connected with the West Virginia College Summit program to act as mentors to high school students preparing for college; many times as the first person in their family to attend college.

Essentially, during one of our monthly LWV sessions, we were paired up with a College Summit student to act as a mentor, offering guidance on completing applications, writing essays, evaluating classes and areas of study. I remember so distinctly the young with whom I was paired. When asked what she planned to study, she talked of wanting to be a teacher. Her face lit up; her eyes were alive and full of energy; her voice was full of eagerness, and the desire to make a difference in the lives of children.

Then, she went on to explain that she would likely look into nursing or some other type of medical technologist position. As she made this change in fields of study, her whole demeanor changed. The light was gone from her eyes; her face no longer animated; her voice filled more with resignation than anything that could be interpreted as interest or excitement. Curious about such a drastic change, I asked her if she was aware of it…and why she would consider such a different career, and one that seemed to hold very little interest for her. Her response: Money.

We talked about this for some time. I acknowledged that, yes, making a decent living is certainly an important consideration, but suggested she might consider that she would be exchanging her precious life energy for that money, and it might serve her well to really think about what was more important — making more money at an unfulfilling job or making less money in a role where she truly made a difference in the lives of children, and by extension, her community and the world.

I have no idea what she decided; unfortunately, I’ve not heard from her since. I hope she makes the decision that fills her heart with joy, for it would be in that capacity that she would truly make an invaluable difference in the lives of many.

Her situation is not uncommon. In fact, according to a survey published in a recent Parade Magazine article, of the more than 26,000 people surveyed, about 60% said they would switch paths if they had the opportunity to do it over again.

In some ways, it’s an amazing result, and in others, not at all surprising. Nearly daily, I talk with people who are doing what it takes to get by, to make a living, working at a job, not in an area of passion. The survey shows that 34% describe their mood on Sunday night as “minor dread,” with another 9% in “despair” over the need to return to work on Monday.

It’s a sad commentary on our society, I think. So much wasted talent, energy, and passion! What’s worse, though, is discovering so many believe they are “doomed” to continue down this path — with no potential for change, even though it’s not what they wanted.

I wonder how so many people seem to have lost sight of the fact that the power is within them to make the changes. A new acquaintance so eloquently stated: This is NOT a dress rehearsal! We get one life to live. I hope you are making it meaningful.

If not, what will it take to shift you from your current paradigm about what is possible to the one that will allow you to realize your dreams and your potential?

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Defining success…and what it’s worth

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , , , on September 18, 2012| Leave a Comment »

I have a lot of conversations with friends, clients, colleagues, and sometimes even strangers, about what success means to them. These are educated, motivated, hard-working, individuals who would appear — from the outside and based on what society seems to define as success — to be successful. They hold good jobs in interesting fields, earn good salaries, live in nice places, are able to vacation, wear nice clothes, etc…

Frequently, however, I find that when I ask them what success means to them, they don’t have an answer. For some, it is money, nice house, nice car, latest fashion, ability to mingle with all the “right” people, attend the “right” events…for others, it’s just the opposite. They want to be successful, but struggle with the idea that it means all of the material things, with which they are uncomfortable.

This topic got me thinking about a wedding I was in nearly 20 years ago. I lived nearly 1200 miles from the bride (a dear friend from 4th grade!) and groom, so I knew only one other person in the bridal party (also a friend since 4th grade). Not too long after the wedding, my friend shared a story about one of the groomsmen and his wife. He worked in sales and I believe she was a homemaker. They had a couple of kids, big, nice house (no small feat in Southern California, even 20 years ago), new cars…all the great things money could buy, right? They were getting divorced. The wife was complaining that the husband was never home, didn’t help with the kids, didn’t pay enough attention to her, didn’t do things around the house, etc. You’ve heard this story, right? Turns out, it was true…but why? Well, his response was, “I have to work these kinds of hours to earn the money to pay for all this stuff!” So, while he earned a nice living and could afford to keep them in style, he couldn’t be home to share and enjoy any of it. In the end, it cost his marriage and his family. Was it worth it? Only they can answer that question, but from my perspective, probably not!

Further along this train of thought, I think about how there are so many in our society caught up in this kind of a mess…working hard to earn money for nice houses, cars, things, and when we earn more money, we aren’t satisfied with what we already have, so we upgrade…and then we have to keep working harder and longer hours to make more money to support all the stuff that we no longer have the time or energy to enjoy!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be on that train! I’m rethinking and redefining what success means to me. Success is a relative thing, though. What works for one person or family may not work for the next person.

Now, I’m not saying making a good living is a bad thing. I want to earn a decent living, to provide for my family, live comfortably, know that I can cover a major car repair or other unexpected event, take a vacation once in a while, and also splurge on frivolous things once in a while. I also want enough money to be able to give it away to people and causes that touch my heart and make me want to be a better person. I want time to be creative outside of work, to spend with my family, to read good books, take long walks, have deep conversations with friends old and new. Yes, I want things money can buy, and so much more that money has no bearing on.

The good news is: You get to decide. You get to define what success means to you and what you’re willing to pay for it. You are the person who needs to be comfortable and satisfied with the decisions you make and the actions you take each day.

In the book The Rhythm of Life, author Matthew Kelly encourages the reader to define what he or she wants from life. In fact, he says being able to answer that question is far more important than anything else he will write in the rest of the book, so put the book down and come back to it after you’ve figured it out…This is on page 12 of the book! I’ve shared this with quite a few people since I read it a few months ago, and I still don’t know if any of them have made it past page 12.

What does success mean to you?

What is it worth to you? What are you willing to give in exchange?

I encourage you to take the time to really think this through. Allow yourself the freedom to define it on your own terms; liberate yourself from the expectations and pressure of the outside world. Be true to yourself and those you love.

As many of us have probably experienced, if we don’t define it, someone will do it for us…and we will wake up one day, look around, and think: “How on earth did I get here? What is all this stuff? I didn’t want this…”

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Hope is not a strategy…make a plan (Part 2)

Posted in Food for Thought, tagged , , , , on August 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Earlier this week, I shared a post about making an intentional plan to make your dreams a reality. As this is not a shallow subject, I wanted to revisit it.

Another of my mentors, Scott M. Fay (also faculty on the John Maxwell Team), owns a landscaping business. He says that people often ask, ‘when is the best time to plant a shade tree?’ His answer: 50 years ago! The second best time to plant a shade tree is today!

So, when is the best time to develop a personal growth plan — one that will allow you to achieve your dreams, and maximize your potential — well, probably a number of years ago, like in Junior High or High School, perhaps. Unless you are like Alex P. Keaton from Family Ties, most people aren’t that focused that early. So, the good news is, it’s not too late to map your plan now. In fact, if you don’t already have one, today is the best day to get started.

Getting Started
Again, this is a significant undertaking, and it’s very important; after all, it’s only your LIFE we are talking about! Take the time to think about what you really want from life; think in terms of family, health, fun, education, finance, travel, career…and define what success looks like for you. Then you can begin to map the steps you need to take along the way to reach your goal. Break it down in chunks; make the steps achievable within a reasonable amount of time.

Another critical step is really knowing yourself. Be honest about your strengths and shortcomings. You don’t have to share any of your insights, if you choose not to, but you need to be aware that the people closest to you are probably already very in-tune with them. The key is your own self-awareness. This allows you to know what you will be able to do on your own and what you will need to get support for. Remember, the people in your life — both current and some you haven’t yet met — are part of the resources you may need along your journey.

Be brave! Share your vision and your plans and ask for help. As I said, you’ll be amazed at how doors open for you. I speak from experience here. Several months ago, I wanted to start a Mastermind Group to study John Maxwell’s 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. I knew a few people who might be interested but not enough to fill a class, and I had no space in which to hold a weekly, 10-week session. I shared my vision with a couple of people. They were interested in participating, and recommended contacting another acquaintance who might have the meeting space. The third person not only offered the meeting space (“I’ll give you a key to the building; use the conference room any time you like…”), but he also filled the rest of the class! And it was a great experience for everyone involved. What an unexpected blessing!

Be open. Be open to new experiences, new lessons, new people.

Be grateful. Be grateful for what you already have, for the people already in your life, and the skills and talents you already possess. Be grateful for the opportunities that will surface, allowing you to learn and grow and experience new things.

Be intentional. Again, if you don’t map your plan, you will go along with the current and will someday find yourself a long way from where you want to be. This is a journey, a process…it will happen daily, not in a day.

Hope is a good thing. But it isn’t a strategy. It won’t drive you to success. You must take action.

Get started. It’s that simple. If you can see the first step, take it. Subsequent steps will become obvious to you as you move along. Again, the resources will become available as you need them.

If you have to, do it afraid! You’ll be glad you did.

What steps are you taking today to map out your plan and begin your journey?

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