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Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

Good morning and Happy Friday!

As my mentor, Paul Martinelli, would say: “Are you marinating in excellence, yet?” As with all things of value, we must immerse ourselves in the concepts we wish to master. Nothing of significance or lasting value happens overnight…so let us steep ourselves in these thoughts, ideas, and concepts this month

As I consider excellence, I am working on following up with people in a more timely manner, demonstrating my desire and commitment to serve others, and delivering exceptional value, every time. What about you? Where can you intentionally inject excellence into your performance?

I am coming to find this Friday ritual of thinking about and planning for my weekend, and the weeks ahead, more and more valuable each week. I am getting busier, meeting and connecting with a lot of new people, and my need to be focused and prepared is more and more critical to my success.

What really needs your attention this weekend? Is it projects, people, rest, relaxation…?

Rest? Definitely! We’ve been dealing with a lack of sleep at my house, caused by the annoying cough that is going around. You know the one, it surfaces mainly at night when you lay down to sleep…and so far, we have failed to find a cough suppressant that actually works!

Preparation for a Women in Leadership Luncheon I am helping to plan, and will present the Keynote speech at, in May. Along with my speech, I need to pull together a personal assessment tool that goes along with our theme: What Got You Here Won’t Get You There (based on the best seller by Marshall Goldsmith; if you haven’t read it and you are pursuing growth in your career, it’s a must read. In fact, don’t just read it — buy it and keep it handy! This one will serve you over and over and over…if you are open to the lessons and willing to do the work to apply them!). And, I need to do some work to prepare some amazing women for the panel discussion that will happen as part of this day of growth and learning.

I also need to get some exercise. My son and I enjoy our weekend neighborhood walks.

And, I’m still working on the new mentoring program I will launch in May. You can get a preview here.

What’s in store for you this weekend, next week, and in the coming weeks? Are you taking the steps to set yourself up for success and fulfillment?

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you Monday!

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Now that we’re really thinking about excellence within our teams and organizations, let’s broaden our circle and expand our perspective by learning what it means to others.

Spend some time with your team today and ask them to describe what excellence looks like in each of their respective roles. Then, ask each one for two concrete ways to measure excellence within his/her performance. You might be surprised with what they come up with; often times, we will set much higher standards for ourselves than someone else will.

Now, take some time during your regular meetings (Weekly? Monthly? What’s your frequency for team meetings?) to review how everyone is progressing.

It’s important that you recognize and reinforce the behaviors and level of performance you want from your team members, so be sure to ask them what comments and actions will be positive reinforcement for them; what would they like to hear when you notice they’re doing an excellent job?

Write down the comments so you will remember them…and be sure to use them at all the appropriate times. Feedback is critical, and more effective when it’s personal, timely, and specific.

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Good morning and Happy Friday! How was this, our first week in Month Three, focused on Excellence?

As has been the case for the last three weeks, my week has flown by. Yes, I have been much busier; working with some new coaching and mentoring clients, working on a couple of other projects, and preparing for a speaking engagement today through my local Chamber of Commerce. Also, tonight, I will finish a Mastermind Group I’ve been facilitating, with a group of supervisors in a manufacturing facility.

We’ve been studying and discussing John Maxwell’s 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Tonight we will go through Chapter 21 — The Law of Legacy. Essentially, the message is that when you get to the end of your life, people will describe your life with one sentence, so you should choose it now — and embody that message, whatever it is that you want to be remembered for, to truly live each day as that person. It will be another busy day.

But I digress! Shall we move forward with what’s become our Friday ritual? Are you in the habit of thinking about and preparing for your weekend ahead of time, yet?

What really needs your attention this weekend? Is it projects, people, rest, relaxation…?

All of the above, for me, as usual, but perhaps in different measures than in previous weeks.

And I do need to spend some time really thinking about and planning for the next few weeks. There are some significant events coming my way in May, and I have a lot of work to do to ensure I am fully prepared. I’m getting ready to launch a new mentoring program, so there’s some “back office” work to do for that.

What thoughts do you have about the level of quality of your products and services, after this week’s exercises?

What’s in store for you this weekend, next week, and in the coming weeks? Are you taking the steps to set yourself up for success and fulfillment?

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you Monday!

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We’ve just spent the last four weeks focusing on relationships and the critical role they play in our success as leaders. As the poet John Donne said, “No man is an island entire of itself; every an is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

Each and every one of us is a piece of a bigger whole. While we might like to think we can do it all ourselves, we cannot. And it leads to a very isolated and lonely existence. I speak from experience here, as I think I’ve shared in previous blogs. I used to believe I could be “Superwoman” and do it all myself…but it’s exhausting, disheartening, and discouraging. The results were never as good as they would have been had I involved others. And I often found myself feeling resentful of others for not stepping up and doing their part; why would they, when I made it clear I didn’t need or want them!

We do not live in isolation, but in relationship to others. Real connections with others offer joy and give our lives meaning. They push us to be better than we would be alone, to reach greater heights than we could ever climb alone. Rich and lasting relationships require time, commitment, and self-sacrifice, but their benefits more than compensate for the investment.

If you take some time to think about leaders you respect, you’ll realize they have built rich “relational” bank accounts; they have developed strong relationships with a variety of people and get energy and sustenance from them. When you truly invest in others and nurture your relationships over time, they are sometimes the only stable, consistent thing you can count on in uncertain times.

In fact, when times get tough, experience, hard work, and talent alone will not save you. If you need any kind of external support — a job, money, advice, hope, mentoring, help, or even a client…your extended circle of friends and associates will be the place to turn to meet those needs. However, if you have not invested in relationships, you may find yourself standing alone.

My questions to you are these:

What did you learn about yourself with respect to relationships over the course of this past month?

What are you doing differently as a result?

How are your relationships changing as a result of your taking different actions and demonstrating different behaviors?

How different are your results, with this new perspective?

What will you do to intentionally invest in the lives of others?

On Monday, we will move into Month 3 of this Intentional Leadership Journey, focusing on Excellence. Again, I am sharing this with you as I walk through this same journey, based on the Intentional Leadership booklet I received through the Chick-fil-A Leadercast (created by Giant Impact) that I attended in May 2012.

Let me know how this journey is changing your thinking and your performance.

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Here we are, come to the end of another week, that to me feels like it has flown past — again! It’s a sign I’m getting busier, which is good. But I need to remain aware of whether I’m spending my “busy” time simply being busy or actually productive. This weekend will be a good time for me to reflect on that, and redirect — if need be — my efforts next week…a slight course correction, if you will.

Right now, though, let’s focus on the weekend. Are you ready? Have you gotten into the habit of thinking about it and preparing for it ahead of time, yet?

What relationships do you need to nurture this weekend?

I need to spend more time with my husband.

Are there new relationships you would like to initiate?

I do have some new connections I want to make and will give some thought this weekend to how best to initiate them.

What do you need to do to focus on and nurture yourself this weekend?

A bit of alone time. I’m working on my “I have a Dream” speech assignment; it’s part of the Deeper Path Coaching Cohort I’m working my way through. I will be reading my Dream speech to my fellow travelers on the Path…It will be an interesting experience. I’ve carried so many of these thoughts around with me for a long time, but rarely verbalize them to others.

How much rest do you need this weekend?

How much – and what kind of – activity do you need?

What loose ends do you need to tie up from this week?

What do you need to do to prepare yourself for a great start to next week, preparing for Monday?

Finally, what thought are you giving to things you have planned or need to prepare for or complete in the coming months?

On Monday, we begin month three —  focus on Excellence. More thoughts on this over the weekend.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you soon!

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Time to get your journal out. Take some time today to reflect on the response you received from your intentional act of service yesterday.

How did your action affect your relationship with that person?

How did your self-less action strengthen your family or team?

When you’ve given that some time, reflect on the actions you have taken this month to add value to others, to encourage them in their potential, and to put your team’s agenda in front of your own. What new synergy has been created on your team as a result of your leadership in relationships?

Speaking from personal experience, I can attest to the fact that when I am intentional about doing things for others — when I focus on touching their heart before I ask for a hand — I reap the benefits in many ways. I form deeper, stronger relationships with others, which is far more satisfying – for me, anyway – than shallow interactions. I learn from them. I am better able to to help others because I come to understand who they are and what they need. And I have to say, I love doing the acts of kindness.

Sometimes it’s a stretch trying to tailor an act to someone specific — to do something for them that they will actually appreciate, rather than giving them something I think they should have. For example, last night, I brought home a bag of Jelly Belly’s for my husband — I know he loves them! Quick, simple, results in a smile.

What has your experience been?

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Welcome to “Intentional Acts of Kindness” Day!

Today, think about how you can contribute to and invest in relationships. Perform one small, intentional, act of service for a co-worker, family member, or friend. And by “intentional” I mean think about it ahead of time, plan it out, consider the potential impact before you take action.

Here are a few suggestions:

  • Buy them a coffee or lunch
  • Give your seat to someone if you happen to take a bus or train
  • Write a Thank You note to someone (make it personal and specific)
  • Do another family member’s chores for the day
  • Arrange an introduction for someone you know who is looking for a job
  • Give one of your most valuable offerings — sit down and truly just listen to someone who needs a sounding board
  • Give someone a sincere, specific compliment

I’m sure you can come up with lots of other great ideas, more appropriate for the person you have in mind…but these should get your thoughts started!

Who will you invest in today?

What small act of service will you perform?

If this isn’t something you do often, I suspect you will be surprised by how good it feels to simply give and have no expectation for receiving anything in return. It does wonders for relationships when people understand you are just there, doing something kind, because it’s the right thing to do and there is no other agenda behind your actions.

Please, please…share your stories in the comments box below.

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As we begin week four of our focus on Relationships, we will shift gears a bit and bring it all together.

In January 2012, I was responsible for leading a team of people planning a ribbon-cutting ceremony for a significant investment (major equipment overhaul) at a manufacturing company. This event was open to all employees (nearly 1000 people); Union officials; local, regional, and state officials and dignitaries; media; and company executives. Immediately following the ceremony, we also planned an Open House for employees and retirees, allowing each to bring a guest.

Both events required safety orientations, distribution of personal protective equipment, and designated escorts for anyone entering the plant. The Open House also involved refreshments, commemorative give-aways, coordinated plant tours, and, again, media coverage. While the Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony saw about 200 people in attendance, including employees and guests, the Open House saw nearly 1000 people over the course of the afternoon.

As you can imagine, these events required a lot of planning — over the course of a few months — and the hard work and dedication of numerous individuals and departments. It was a monumental effort. And it came off nearly perfectly! We had administrative, communications and marketing, operations, purchasing, supply chain, safety, quality, and human resources support. Each person on this team offered a different kind of expertise and brought different perspectives to the planning and implementation process. Each had a clearly defined role and responsibilities. We met weekly to plan, and communicated between meetings.

On the day of the big events, everything went pretty well. I won’t say the execution was flawless, but nearly so. And the things that didn’t go exactly as planned were not significant enough to make a difference. When the few things occurred that we hadn’t prepared for, people came together to adapt and move forward. All in all, a huge success.

That’s one example. Let’s look, very briefly, at another example of team work. On D-Day, during WWII, the Allied invasion of Normandy required intense coordination between Army, Navy, and Air Force troops. This, too, required a well-thought out plan, clear and frequent communication, each organization and person tasked with clear roles and responsibilities.

This is a shining example of the interdependence between leadership and relationships. The more influential the leader, the more he or she relies on the relationships within the team to maximize production and likelihood of success, whatever the mission. The best leaders don’t go in alone; they realize their success depends on the support and skill of those they work alongside.

Take some time, now, to consider a similar situation in which you were involved. With teams, there are shared goals that must take precedence over individual goals if the effort is to succeed. Think about someone who failed to sacrifice their personal agenda for the good of the team. What was the outcome? What did you learn from the experience?

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I fully understand the fact that there is exactly the same amount of time in each day and each week, but this week truly seems to have flown past. This time last week, I was in Orlando with the John Maxwell Team, in a coaching triad (one coach, one participant, one observer) practicing the art of coaching…and it seems like it was just yesterday!

Hard to believe it’s time to prepare for the weekend, again, already!

I don’t know about you, but thinking about the weekends in this way has made a difference for me. I still have work to do in terms of being truly intentional about how I spend my weekends, but this practice is changing the way I think about, prepare for, and spend my time Friday evening through Monday morning.

What relationships do you need to nurture this weekend?

Are there new relationships you would like to initiate?

What do you need to do to focus on and nurture yourself this weekend?

How much rest do you need this weekend?

How much – and what kind of – activity do you need?

What loose ends do you need to tie up from this week?

What do you need to do to prepare yourself for a great start to next week, preparing for Monday?

Finally, what thought are you giving to things you have planned or need to prepare for or complete in the coming months?

On Monday, we begin week four of month two —  focus on Relationships.

Have a great weekend, and I’ll “see” you on Monday!

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Today we apply what we’ve been thinking about and reflecting on this week. I love this part! This is where the proverbial rubber meets the road — application of principles and practices. After all, if we don’t apply what we know, nothing will change. It’s the biggest gap there is — the one between knowing and doing.

Ready to take the leap?

Today, watch for the following situations, and take action on at least one. Choose one that will be more of a stretch for you; after all, if it’s easy, there’s less opportunity for growth and learning.

Understanding — Before being heard on a subject today, seek to understand the facts and the position/perspective of the others involved, first.

Talk TO Someone, Instead of ABOUT Someone — When you’re tempted to talk about someone, go to them and discuss the issue with them in person, instead.

Be Transparent — Communicate clearly with someone instead of trying to hid your true thoughts or emotions. This is where we get away from being “political,” meaning words and actions intended to be what others want to hear, rather than what you really feel or think.

Outstanding Promises — If you have made a promise to someone, fulfill it today. If the promise is overdue, apologize and seek forgiveness. Vow to do better next time, and follow through.

Ask for Help — Instead of working on your own to figure something out, ask someone you know who may have better ideas or more experience in the specific topic than you, and ask him or her for help.

I can speak for only myself, but each of these have been growth opportunities for me at various times in my life. I frequently remind myself to follow these guides, so I can maintain the credibility I’ve built and demonstrate the integrity people have come to expect from me. I goof up on occasion, as I think we would all admit we do.

Really, the idea that keeps coming to mind is: Be intentional.

If you’re really brave, practice more than one of these! And make it a daily habit; you’ll be amazed at how these actions can improve your relationships over time.

Let me know how it goes for you.

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